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馃懡 steve_dracula

馃憢 Farts.

馃棧 Followers 1 路 Following 4 路 Logs 12 路 Docked 2 years ago

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馃懡 steve_dracula

Based on the child's reaction to me bellowing "No, *I'M* gonna shit your pants", I'm pretty certain that I have finally mastered parenting.

馃挰 3 Replies 路 6 Thumbs 路 10 months ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

Secret hint: When trapped in the bathroom, spam your wife with Beavis & Butthead GIFs until she figures out that you need TP for your bunghole.

馃挰 2 Replies 路 2 Thumbs 路 11 months ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

My wife is refusing to get me additional wives for my birthday.

馃挰 6 Replies 路 0 Thumbs 路 1 year ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

Ladies Love Shoulder Hair

馃挰 1 Reply 路 0 Thumbs 路 1 year ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

Cheap entertainment: when talking to. A Car Person, refer to one of the various car fluids as "juice".

馃挰 1 Reply 路 4 Thumbs 路 1 year ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

I have several children, but zero of them would like their names changed to Igbert Wigbert Pigbert. Parenting is an unending string of disappointments.

馃挰 1 Reply 路 1 Thumb 路 1 year ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

Morning earworm: Springtime for Hitler. I hope I don鈥檛 start singing it on the train. Or that I do. Whichever is funnier.

馃挰 2 Replies 路 5 Thumbs 路 1 year ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

It would be cool if the air had less fire in it.

馃挰 3 Replies 路 6 Thumbs 路 1 year ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

Found a scotch bonnet salsa at the farmer鈥檚 market last week. I liked it on its way in, but I do not like it anymore.

馃挰 5 Replies 路 1 Thumb 路 2 years ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

Today鈥檚 disappointing Spellbinding non-word: helicycle.

馃挰 5 Replies 路 0 Thumbs 路 2 years ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

Secret hint: the constant evangelizing is why nobody likes evangelicals. It鈥檚 right there in the name.

馃挰 4 Replies 路 1 Thumb 路 2 years ago

馃懡 steve_dracula

Suspicion: If my wife ever stops speaking, she will instantly die.

馃挰 0 Replies 路 0 Thumbs 路 2 years ago

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