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View submission: Advice on Spouse Decisions
I haven't reached FIRE yet, but would give the same advice to OP. Even if it's not a formal counselor, just a structured conversation with a trusted friend or mentor may be beneficial. OP, just from this post, it seems that the perceived stability or work ethic issues are stemming from some unmet emotional or mental need. Really be purposeful to drive conversations and try to understand why she is programmed the way she is, it might take many months or even a year or two. She may not even know and need some guidance on how to investigate herself. Your marriage and understanding of each other's goals will benefit, and I bet the question will answer itself eventually.
There's nothing here!