16 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Trans Women, Male Privilege, and the Intersectionality of Patriarchal Oppression
The comparison of gender transition to the process of puberty is insanely minimizing to the difficulties posed by transition. don't get me wrong, i know puberty isn't an easy process for anyone, but it isn't the same as undergoing a process that involves deliberately working against societal pressure to perform as an assigned gender under penalty of social ostracization and abandonment. I'll absolutely recognize that dysphoria of another kind is likely faced by cis women undergoing puberty, but its absolutely not the same thing as "transition". Using the term "transition" feels incredibly insulting and dismissive.
Even for cis women who experience a lack of support throughout their puberty, i doubt they experience the fear that many trans women have when transitioning. Did you ever hug your mother for an extra long period of time and write down the last couple sentences she shared with you, just in case she decided to never speak to you ever again because you were going through puberty? Did you ever have to delay your puberty for years because you had to wait until you weren't financially dependent on anyone else, just in case your parents decided to disown you for going through puberty, and force you to be a homeless teenager, like many young trans women (and trans men) experience?
Obviously all kinds of people struggle with their gender not aligning exactly with the way people want it to, but the only time cis women are usually automatically assumed to be sex predators and pedophiles based on gender expression is when transvestigators mistake them for trans women. We have to fear simple actions everyone else takes for granted, because of how predatory our society views us. You wanna talk about internalized shame? how about feeling fear every time you interact with a child in public, or even when a child just waves at you and you want to wave back? I work in a public facing job in a library, and i just want to be a normal librarian who is helpful and kind to kids, but every time i interact with one I'm terrified someone will accuse me of grooming them or trying to indoctrinate them. I'm terrified to use public restrooms because of the internalized shame that, since i have a penis, society views me inherently as someone who could only possibly want to go into a bathroom for sexual reasons.
Cis women's health is underfunded and needs more attention, but trans healthcare hasn't had legitimate studies in decades. Doctors still make prescriptions based on guidelines for medications that don't even exist anymore, because the last time guidelines were updated or studies done on the safety of medications for us is legitimately 30 years ago. I do think that both cis and trans women are currently facing a torrent of legislation against us in the United States. I wanna point out that pretty much every law you mentioned that countries have (i.e. women not being allowed to do to school or speak in public) are laws that are present in countries that would literally murder us. It's not like we have power in those places, we don't have it better than you because we can just pretend to be men, the implicit idea in that being that we can just "be men instead of transitioning." being trans isn't a choice.
before you start with that shit about assuming I'm used to being heard, i absolutely am not. throughout my entire life I've been shamed into silence, told to talk less and that nobody wants to hear my options. often by my own mother. I've been told so often that my struggles aren't important by comparison to other people, and i struggle so hard to even voice them to my own boyfriend because of my internalized sense of worthlessness. Don't fucking tell us that we're just "used to being heard". You don't know our experience.
Edit: Im sorry for how hostile I probably seemed during all of this. The past few weeks have been very difficult. Before like 3 years ago, I had just totally given up on life and existence. But transitioning was like finally re-awakening from a coma nightmare thats been going on for 15 years. I finally got to remember what it was like to genuinely smile, to look outside and love how beautiful the world is, even on a dreary, rainy day. But now it feels like its all collapsing, and the world wants to rip my happiness away, and tear my soul out of my body. Im so scared of the next 4 years, not just of dying, but of losing my identity again. I think I'd rather die than be forced to detransition. I think rage is the only thing propelling me forward right now, and im sorry that spilled over to this interaction with you. I didnt mean to try to dismiss or minimize any of the problems cis women face, but it feels like even the left is abandoning trans women now, and nobody on earth even cares if we die.
Comment by [deleted] at 31/01/2025 at 03:39 UTC*
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
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