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I grew up with one. He was my first bully. Probably all of us kids, if not each other. He was so covert, none of us realized it was harmful until adulthood when we all had to unlearn that behavior and make amends with each other.
He would decide which one of us would get “picked on” and rope everyone else in on the “jokes.” In turn we all learned how to start the picking on each other in hopes of avoiding being the target. It all felt like silly harmless fun about music taste or hairdos, which society says is normal sibling rivalry, but it was being encouraged and manipulated by someone who just enjoyed being an asshole. It was an awful way to grow up.
Now in our late 20s through early 40s, we can all acknowledge that the amount of harm these “jokes” caused to every single one of us is immense, but if you ask him we’re all just too sensitive and don’t get his “humor.” None of his 5 adult children speak to him now.
There's nothing here!