5 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Do non-binary identities reenforce gender stereotypes?
I’m a woman but I don’t have anything internal that feels womanly or any internal sense of woman. If people decided I was a man that would be fine. Like if tomorrow I was called he and compared to the man role, it would perhaps take a short adjustment period but I would be ok with it. Maybe they would mock any feminine body language and I would have to decide whether to change my body language or not. But being a man is a-ok with me. If I got magically body swapped into a functioning male body that would be cool too. There is nothing inside me that is saying woman or man.
But the thing is I’m definitely not non binary. Because that would involve some sense of a lack of gender. The reason some cis people don’t think gender is separate from sex is because many (not all) simply don’t have any feeling or internal sense of man or woman. The idea that I feel like a woman, or that I would at least not feel like a man is baffling to me. This is why I think nonbinary people just had social ideas of gender hammered into them until they think that being intrinsically different from that is some sign of their gender.
All the NBs I know personally had a parental figure who was mega strict about gendered behavior. So the people with strict ideas about being a woman hammered into them obviously can’t see themselves or identify with being a woman. I don’t say that to them though.
Then you have the rare cases of the parents trying to raise genderless babies. Where the kids end up NB because the parents are telling them they will find their gender out by their eventual personality. Hearing those kids in news interviews explain why they are NB is fucking surreal because they are talking about normal childhood interests but classifying them as parts of their “girl-self” and “boy-self.” The parents get so progressive that they wrap back around to gender essentialist. So in the end it’s a very similar path to being NB as the people with strict gender essentialist parents.
Comment by redroserequiems at 13/01/2025 at 01:14 UTC
-1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I'm going to be blunt with you: you are me five years ago. I was Sure I was a woman. Except then I examined it and realized I wasn't. I had no strict parenting on gender so like. You can say that but it isn't true. You have confirmation bias. I was told I could be whatever but thought myself a woman for a long time.
But I'm just... Not? Being a gender makes me happy. Does being a woman cause you gender euphoria? Does it feel Right? But thanks for invalidating me for your weird own gender essentialism in the name of progressivism I guess???