0 upvotes, 4 direct replies (showing 4)
View submission: Do non-binary identities reenforce gender stereotypes?
The way I've done it is what feels right. Would you feel uncomfortable if I continuously called you a man or he/him'd you? I wouldn't. Or if you she/her'd me.
You likely do have some sense, you just likely never questioned it or had to examine it because I assume you're cisgender. You feel fine as a default.
Comment by exiting_stasis_pod at 13/01/2025 at 01:09 UTC
6 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I’m a woman but I don’t have anything internal that feels womanly or any internal sense of woman. If people decided I was a man that would be fine. Like if tomorrow I was called he and compared to the man role, it would perhaps take a short adjustment period but I would be ok with it. Maybe they would mock any feminine body language and I would have to decide whether to change my body language or not. But being a man is a-ok with me. If I got magically body swapped into a functioning male body that would be cool too. There is nothing inside me that is saying woman or man.
But the thing is I’m definitely not non binary. Because that would involve some sense of a lack of gender. The reason some cis people don’t think gender is separate from sex is because many (not all) simply don’t have any feeling or internal sense of man or woman. The idea that I feel like a woman, or that I would at least not feel like a man is baffling to me. This is why I think nonbinary people just had social ideas of gender hammered into them until they think that being intrinsically different from that is some sign of their gender.
All the NBs I know personally had a parental figure who was mega strict about gendered behavior. So the people with strict ideas about being a woman hammered into them obviously can’t see themselves or identify with being a woman. I don’t say that to them though.
Then you have the rare cases of the parents trying to raise genderless babies. Where the kids end up NB because the parents are telling them they will find their gender out by their eventual personality. Hearing those kids in news interviews explain why they are NB is fucking surreal because they are talking about normal childhood interests but classifying them as parts of their “girl-self” and “boy-self.” The parents get so progressive that they wrap back around to gender essentialist. So in the end it’s a very similar path to being NB as the people with strict gender essentialist parents.
Comment by Closetbrainer at 13/01/2025 at 07:42 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yeah I was born female and identify as such. Being called a man would upset me. So I completely understand why others want to be called by what they identify as. I don’t think any of this is a new concept in human history, we just have names for it now. Be whoever you feel you should be inside. I’m happy for you if you are happy.
Comment by Famous-Ad-9467 at 13/01/2025 at 13:38 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
No, wouldn't feel uncomfortable. I have a deeper voice for a woman and have been mistaken for a man, it doesn't make me feel any deep sense of lack of comfort. If used as an insult, it might make me feel annoyed, but I will not have any internal sense of deep crisis if I'm called a man.
Comment by One-Load-6085 at 14/01/2025 at 03:04 UTC
0 upvotes, 1 direct replies
No I would not be uncomfortable with that. I feel nothing as a default. I am told I am female, I look like a woman and have a period therefore I use she/ her pronouns because it is what I, like most millennials, was raised to use as proper English. I don't think about my gender at all even when someone refers to me in the feminine form.