14 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: R/Askmen discusses getting swarmed by women
There are some times where one’s own morality and self perception gets in the way and that goes for both genders. You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I’ve seen guys say that they don’t think fat people are ugly, they’re just not attracted to their “lack of discipline”. I’d trust a fat woman more than a man to tell me why men are largely not attracted to fat people, and I’m a man myself.
Comment by Realistic_Depth5450 at 27/01/2025 at 22:20 UTC
59 upvotes, 2 direct replies
trust a fat woman more than a man to tell me why men are largely not attracted to fat people
Sure, and there's a whole conversation we could have about women being socialized to consider other people's feelings and develop deeper empathy or what-have-you.
But in the end - women are not some mysterious other species. Women are humans. And it feels dehumanizing to see men asking other men to explain women when women are RIGHT HERE. I don't ask my female bestie why my husband does what he does; I don't even ask my male bestie - I ask MY HUSBAND because he's a person, just like I am.
Like, for example, if your bro told you (general you, not specific you) that it was fucked up that you always come over to his house and drink all his beer and expect him to make you dinner and that you didn't help with dishes and then you just bounced - would you be confused about why he was mad? If not, then why is it confusing when a wife or girlfriend says those same things? Why would a man need other men to explain that to them? It begins to feel less like you (again, general you, not specific you) don't understand, and more like you just don't care.
The guy who asked how he could get his wife attracted to him again was a recovering alcoholic who was only 6 months sober. Yeah, thats amazing, and I honestly will throw a party for someone 6 days sober, if thats helpful to them. But to expect his wife to go back to how things were before the alcohol interfered with their lives within 6 months? That's unrealistic. And the comments were largely like, "Divorce her! She's totally unforgiving, and she's probably cheating!" If there were comments saying, "Ask her. Talk to her. Understand that this is rebuilding your marriage, not taking it off a shelf where it's been protected and intact," then they didn't get enough upvotes to be anywhere near the top. Why would random internet men know more about this dude's marriage than his wife did?
Anyway. Rant over.