2 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
I get it, I really do.
She gave you the answers though. She told you what she likes, what she's indifferent to, and what she doesn't like (the things she'll do for you anyway). This is exactly what things are.
If you wanted to change it. #1 you can't, and she cant. You have to literally demand her to tell you no. But this doesn't fix the problem, because she's still just following orders. Her brain is wired differently.
I would say it probably took between 7 and 12 adults years for my ex-wifes brain to rewire, for her to be able to make decisions for herself.
Then she divorced me (it was more complicated than that). It was bittersweet. I was really sad because I loved her, I was going to miss her; but happy and proud she had grown so much.
Like I said, you end up having to play a dual role of parent. It's not fun, it's a lot of work and effort and emotions.
I lived it. I can't even figure out how to describe it in detail right now.
Comment by Midas_Ag at 15/01/2025 at 20:24 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I really can understand what you are saying. There were times that I felt like I was parenting my ex-wife as well. And it is exhausting. This isn't quite to that level, but it is still draining. It's not something I want to keep doing. At all. I do care about her and want to see her heal and grow. I do.