1 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
Thank you for your view on it. I've tried various ways to get her to open up, or to talk to me. Some things she will say she is indifferent, or has no desire to do, but will do them for me, because I want it or like it. Just as a 'test', I took this down a long path that I wouldn't even go, asking what about this or that, have you ever considered, etc... and it was always, no, but for you, yes. Like she has no boundaries. I'm willing to be there for her while she learns and grows and heals, I just can't be WITH her.
Comment by Particular_Sale5675 at 15/01/2025 at 19:50 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I get it, I really do.
She gave you the answers though. She told you what she likes, what she's indifferent to, and what she doesn't like (the things she'll do for you anyway). This is exactly what things are.
If you wanted to change it. #1 you can't, and she cant. You have to literally demand her to tell you no. But this doesn't fix the problem, because she's still just following orders. Her brain is wired differently.
I would say it probably took between 7 and 12 adults years for my ex-wifes brain to rewire, for her to be able to make decisions for herself.
Then she divorced me (it was more complicated than that). It was bittersweet. I was really sad because I loved her, I was going to miss her; but happy and proud she had grown so much.
Like I said, you end up having to play a dual role of parent. It's not fun, it's a lot of work and effort and emotions.
I lived it. I can't even figure out how to describe it in detail right now.