2 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
Did you ever ask her why? I'm not gong to make any assumptions. But it sounds like you're asking the wrong questions and giving up on answers too early.
Not that you should have to go to such extreme lengths for her to tell you what she likes. It just seems a bit like she is telling you what she likes, but it's afraid of admitting it out loud. My ex-wife had to write me a message in code just to answer my questions on what she liked.
But it was a similar problem at first. She couldn't say anything. But she did want to do a lot of the things I was doing. And some of it was her exploring herself and figuring it out still.
But I still think everyone else has made good points. Your girlfriend is stunted developmentally. At least when me and my ex-wife got together, we were both stunted developmentally. (We both have ADHD and Autism and abusive families.) I wouldn't stay with someone like that now. And both me and my ex-wife were able to grow up at the same time. So way different situation.
It's not like I think you're abusing her. It's more like you'll not be able to grow emotionally while she's so far behind. You'll play a dual role of parent and boyfriend until her brain is able to rewire, which takes years. It's not a simple "go to counseling" thing. It's a "wait for new neural pathways to develop" thing.
Comment by Midas_Ag at 15/01/2025 at 14:15 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Thank you for your view on it. I've tried various ways to get her to open up, or to talk to me. Some things she will say she is indifferent, or has no desire to do, but will do them for me, because I want it or like it. Just as a 'test', I took this down a long path that I wouldn't even go, asking what about this or that, have you ever considered, etc... and it was always, no, but for you, yes. Like she has no boundaries. I'm willing to be there for her while she learns and grows and heals, I just can't be WITH her.