39 upvotes, 2 direct replies (showing 2)
I've seen many comments like this.
Anecdotally, I do some of the exact same stuff; despite knowing about this whole issue very acutely, being someone who tries to change what is "normal" if "normal" is maladaptive, I fall into these exact same patterns sometimes. I don't know why sometimes I'm so avoidant.
Last year, I went through a breakup, lost my job, lost my dog, and was in a hit and run (I love my car). That's like 4 9/11's in country music. And yet, I didn't tell my best friend any of this until last month at a bachelor party. I really don't know why.
If i had to speculate: I think it's because I always feel like a burden when I ask anyone to hold emotions, and I feel shame for being in the situation in the first place. Communicating about it doesn't change the situation, and I don't believe talking about it will make me feel any better. It's just sharing sadness, and why do that?
Knowing I probably shouldn't do that, but feeling no other way is actually more ideal. It's tough.
I don't believe I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, but this got me wondering how many men have it or similar personality disorders. The only one I ever see people talking about regarding men is Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Anyway, I encourage you to keep trying and fighting that good fight, and I hope your endeavors are more fruitful.
Comment by Trainwreck92 at 14/02/2025 at 20:46 UTC
36 upvotes, 1 direct replies
My stepbrother committed suicide yesterday and I've yet to tell any of my friends, and frankly, I'm not sure that I will for the reasons you just laid out. The guys I'm friends with are generally chill and empathetic, but I can't picture a scenario where I share this with them. I don't know, maybe I'm still processing it and I'll feel the need to reach out at some point, but for now, my wife knows and that's enough for me.
Comment by chrisagrant at 14/02/2025 at 21:17 UTC
9 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A point for mental hygiene, it's probably a good idea to ignore people doing armchair diagnosis. It's frowned upon for professionals for a variety of ethical reasons and creates stigma. If you're worried about your personal circumstances, it's probably worth paying for a few sessions with a therapist. They might not really give you a label, but they might be able to provide some insight.