https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2025/01/16/men-women-and-social-connections/
created by Atlasatlastatleast on 14/02/2025 at 18:25 UTC
522 upvotes, 10 top-level comments (showing 10)
Comment by Atlasatlastatleast at 14/02/2025 at 18:37 UTC*
146 upvotes, 8 direct replies
I wanted to post this here because I see the male loneliness epidemic come up in discussions across this site very often. I rarely see data that corroborates the claims, it's often just speculation. The survey that I saw a couple years ago when I first heard about this was this one[1]. Both that survey, and the pew survey linked in this post, lead me to believe that there aren't significant differences in loneliness between genders. Where there are differences, men may experience slightly more loneliness (the reasons for which are discussed ad nauseam), but I'm not sure if it should be called an epidemic. Especially because there really isn't much data on it, it seems like "male loneliness epidemic" has become somewhat of a joke in some circles, with some women feeling like men are blaming them for it, and popular youtubers making videos joking about it[2]. What do y'all think? Is there an male loneliness epidemic? Has the term become more of a joke than anything else?
1: https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-shrinking/
2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iILBvdlQEJg
Comment by 878_Throwaway____ at 14/02/2025 at 19:35 UTC
60 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Anecdotally, my wife is reaching out to a vague friend we met at a dog-breed specific Meetup 5 years ago during pregnancy. She speaks to at least 3 close friends daily.
One of my close friend of many years is only now reaching out sporadically via memes as he became a father last year.
Girls do chat a lot. And they put in the effort to maintain these connections.
All of my old friends live in different cities now so it's hard to catch up with them in person.
I met a guy at the hospital, having a kid within days of ourselves. We were similar in circumstances, and he was a relatively recent migrant to the city, so, being mindful of all of these issues for men and thinking he may also not have that many guy friends, I took the steps to get his number and message him. I messaged a few times, and we've chatted briefly, but I'm not getting anything back (either because he's not interested, or doesn't see the value). I can't prop up a male-male relationship with just one sided work so maybe I'll message him again in about 9 months, which is about as often as some of my closest friends reach out, or are reached out too.
Comment by The-Magic-Sword at 15/02/2025 at 20:17 UTC
9 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The Surgeon General at the time the report on the epidemic came out strongly suggested that rates of loneliness among women were increasing at roughly half the rate it was for men, which is to say it was becoming a problem for both genders.
The proposed mechanism for why it was slower is generally that women are historically more firmly integrated in family and friend units, meaning more male friend groups drift apart over the years, and daughters remained more closely tied with the family than sons.
Comment by [deleted] at 14/02/2025 at 18:59 UTC
33 upvotes, 2 direct replies
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Comment by GraveRoller at 14/02/2025 at 19:18 UTC
33 upvotes, 5 direct replies
FWIW I don’t think the “male loneliness epidemic” really exists by the numbers. I do think there’s a loneliness issue generally. I also think most discussions online about male loneliness are most about “men (specifically the one speaking about the topic) not getting laid”. And the data is kinda iffy? Sexlessness is on the rise and I’m sure many people are aware of the old Pew study saying nearly double 20-30 women were in a relationship vs men, and the General Sex Survey around the same time seemed to reflect that, but the most recent one indicates more of a general non-gendered sexless trend.
Let’s focus on something more interesting though:
Men barely trust men and Republicans seem to like men drastically more, and they barely like men
Comment by Gilbert_Gaped at 14/02/2025 at 22:07 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Every relationship I have, I have cultivated.
Comment by playsmartz at 17/02/2025 at 01:06 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hope I'm not overstepping as a mom lurker. Based on what I've heard from my 25, white, low income brother in rural OH on the loneliness in his social circle, the reason lonely men are an issue that keeps getting attention compared to loneliness in other groups (women, blacks, etc.) is because of the trend that lonely white men turn to toxic groups to fill that emotional gap. Incels. Red pill. MAGA. It's a *white, low income* male loneliness *epidemic* because it affects everyone when they get violent or vote for harmful policies.
Comment by [deleted] at 14/02/2025 at 21:41 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
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Comment by [deleted] at 14/02/2025 at 18:55 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
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Comment by WirelessZombie at 15/02/2025 at 07:58 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Pew research is great, and the more information we have the better. It wouldn't be very surprising if the "loneliness epidemic" is real that it would be more about how men handle feelings of loneliness and get trapped by cultural and societal structures. A roughly equal share saying they are lonely begs questions about what loneliness means and how its expressed and handled. The difference in reaching out or having a support structure might very well be the core of the "loneliness epidemic".
At least anecdotally the type of "black pill" male - hopeless, touch starved, sexless, friendless, strong feelings of being useless, etc. Is a very real and gendered phenomenon worth further studies.