1 upvotes, 3 direct replies (showing 3)
View submission: Is Buddhism skeptical of romantic relationships?
I agree with your points.
I understand the positivity of a "successful" relationship (whatever that truly means), but I tend to agree with your perspective: in a relationship, we are always careful not to do anything that might hurt our partner, not to accidentally or unintentionally lie, and to maintain a constant awareness of our actions and words. This requires mental energy, emotional effort, and a level of attachment that could be seen as contradictory to the path of detachment and inner peace.
Yes, it would be great to have a fantastic relationship with someone, and the ups and downs are part of it (at least we all accept this). But my point is: the odds, the stats, are there. The risks and potential for suffering are high, and it's hard to ignore them. With divorce rates and relationship dissatisfaction so common, the chances of experiencing pain and disappointment seem almost inevitable, no matter how carefully we navigate the relationship.
We tend to think that the positive moments or aspects compensate for all the rest. But, to be factual, there are many moments of suffering in the process. For what, exactly? Is it worth the emotional cost? Given these statistics and the inherent risks, are we overvaluing relationships? Are we ignoring the suffering they often bring in pursuit of something that may not be as fulfilling as we hope?
Comment by LiveBloodAnalysis at 03/02/2025 at 22:31 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think Buddha has 'escaped' his own romantic relationship to set an example for us. His wife and son all become monk/nun afterwards. Once your meditation level go beyond the world of desires, there will be no romantic relationships anyways.
Comment by Borbbb at 03/02/2025 at 20:59 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Since you said it like that, it could be useful for practice then.
Statistics are pointless i dare to say. Practicioners are out of the statistics.
Lay people will generally hold for them. Practicioners? I dare to say, there isn´t much Pros for relationships.
But of course, i am biased there as i prefer doing things on my own and never seen much of the appeal of romantic relationships there.
Odds are, if you are suffering Without a relationship, you will likely try to grab one.
If you don´t and you are fine, perfect, i dare to say.
Comment by pythonpower12 at 03/02/2025 at 22:34 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Idk I think if you're sincere it shouldn't require much mental energy.
I agree with the divorce rates but that's marriage are riddled with people that shouldn't be married and are suffering so marriage wont bring happiness.
I think in a sense we are overvaluing because we think they will make you happy instead of just self reflecting.