💬 Reply by allenstenhaus

2024-12-09 ┃ edited ┃ RE: stefan

[Long, but hopefully helpful]
@stefan Like anything, there is a line. If I don't CW eye contact because I didn't think about it, I shouldn't be dogpiled on for it. Yes, I am autistic, but because eye contact in photos does not bother me, I'm less apt to think of it. If I didn't CW hardcore porn, that should absolutely be brought to my attention (unless I'm on an instance where that is allowed, but even then it should be CWed if the post is public).
But where do we draw the lines? Obviously, that's for admins to decide. I loathe media spoilers that don't have CWs. I don't care if it's a spoiler from #StarTrekTOS, a show that first aired over half a century ago. Thanks to streaming media, many things can be enjoyed by generations who did not grow up with those things, but it's harder to enjoy them if people tell you key plot points ahead of time. Intentionally spoiling things is an absolute dick move that I do believe falls under harassment.
Delivery is half the issue, though. I blocked someone a week ago for giving me grief about my post "Not having a subject." They weren't polite. They've never spoken to me before. However, they demanded I edit my post and add a subject. I did not even reply to them.
I'm on Mastodon. Mastodon doesn't do subjects. Worse yet, my post DID have a CW for the mild but juvenile content, which I will sometimes use as a subject line when I feel it is helpful. I did NOTHING wrong, but was treated as if it was my first day here and I made some capital offense. I've been here for six years. I've got a pretty good handle on the culture at this point. I'm not immune to errors, but I do expect respectful correction, not attacks. That's where it crosses the line for me.
I was quite perturbed by this person's assumption that I'm on the same platform using the same software as them and thus should follow some social standard that I could not reasonably be aware of and unable to do anything about.
However, I am perfectly okay with someone POLITELY requesting I CW a post for a reason that is commonly accepted in the community (ableist language, for instance).
I think like most things in life, we need to approach this cautiously. After all, ACAB applies to Fedi as well, and people being constantly told they're wrong for something is a great way to force them to leave the platform altogether. I don't think the community on the whole wants that, but some people's behaviors do that.
Some of us remember the horrible way Wil Wheaton was driven away. Some of those harassing behaviors continue here (though to a lesser extent as admins have improved over the years). But I don't want any reasonable people driven away.
Balance in all things, after all.

allenstenhaus

https://beige.party/@allenstenhaus/113620298985791240

stefan

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