Don't Panic

Friday, March 13, 2015

gemini://gemini.conman.org/boston/2015/03/13.2

For those suffering from paraskevidekatriaphobia, **DON'T PANIC!** It'll all be over in twenty-four hours.

Um … that is, today will be over, not the world.

I hope.

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Today's Daily Announcement

Saturday, March 14, 2015

gemini://gemini.conman.org/boston/2015/03/14.1

Those of you suffering from paraskevidekatriaphobia can rest easy now that Friday the 13^th [1] is over. Unfortunately, those of you suffering from pastrophobia are advised to stay indoors for the next twenty-four hours, and be especially aware of 9:26:53 local time (AM (ante meridiem, Latin for “before noon”) for sure; PM (post meridiem, Latin for “after noon”) if you don't use a 24-hour clock).

That is all.

[1] /boston/2015/03/13.2

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Best stay in bed

Sunday, March 15, 2015

gemini://gemini.conman.org/boston/2015/03/15.1

Those of you suffering from pastrophobia can rest easy now that π Day [1] is over. But alas, we aren't safe quite yet, for it is the Ides of March [2].

Be safe. Climb back into bed. And avoid going to the government buildings [3].

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi_Day

[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ides_of_March

[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Julius_Caesar

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Twenty percent of sick days are taken on Monday

Monday, March 16, 2015

gemini://gemini.conman.org/boston/2015/03/16.1

I have some good news for Those of you who have been traumatized for the past [1] three [2] days [3]—they're over.

The bad news—it's Monday.

[1] /boston/2015/03/13.2

[2] /boston/2015/03/14.1

[3] /boston/2015/03/15.1

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