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View submission: Conflicted about Zen Buddhism in general
I hardly have motivation to play guitar, spend time with my loved ones, etc., because all I see around me is delusion, ignorance and suffering.
This could be the onset of depression and not necessarily related to any (mis)understanding of zen. A year and a half ago I was going through a hard time mentally and being repulsed by activities that once brought me joy was a clear sign that I needed help. Be kind to yourself and consider talking with a therapist if these feelings persist.
There's nothing here!