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View submission: A Couple of Questions Regarding Koans
I studied and practiced Rinzai Zen with my brother. He now teaches and he had to solve many koans. I think you are being steered in the wrong direction. We never encountered gory koans. We were given harmless ones such as:
What is the sound of one hand clapping? Who were you before you were born?
I suggest you do a Google search to see if there are any Rinzai Zen communities near where you live. Meanwhile, you can listen to my brother's zen teachings by going to YouTube and typing in:
Jeff Shore. Buddhist lectures
There's nothing here!