1361 upvotes, 33 direct replies (showing 25)
View submission: Coffee Culture Sucks
I've practiced this rant on my partner for some time, or some iteration of it. I have fun with it.
Comment by itsjusterin__ at 03/08/2021 at 11:37 UTC
238 upvotes, 2 direct replies
ranting is really fun tbh
Comment by [deleted] at 03/08/2021 at 13:41 UTC
46 upvotes, 1 direct replies
The difference of your smoking and my coffee drinking is that the fumes from my coffee machine don't slowly and painfully kill myself and someone else.
Comment by [deleted] at 03/08/2021 at 12:39 UTC
68 upvotes, 5 direct replies
[deleted]
Comment by Sasspishus at 03/08/2021 at 12:42 UTC
22 upvotes, 1 direct replies
You sound really fun to be around
Comment by katielynne53725 at 03/08/2021 at 13:16 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Certified unpopular opinion. Good job using the sub for it's intended purpose!
But also; you can go straight to hell, you bitter, uncultured swine.
Comment by RydenwithByden at 03/08/2021 at 14:43 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Damn that makes your that much more unbearable that you actually practiced this. My condolences to your partner
Comment by Propenso at 03/08/2021 at 16:01 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It does sound a little contrived.
Comment by [deleted] at 03/08/2021 at 16:51 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I got the vibes that this was personal when you were going off on the cupboard space, counter space, and dishes lmao. Banter like this is fun in a healthy relationship, i assume/hope that's the case for you and your partner
Comment by addage- at 03/08/2021 at 12:54 UTC*
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It’s a good one
Enjoyed reading it while drinking down a coffee to wake me up
Comment by BrownEggs93 at 03/08/2021 at 12:56 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Did you not get your coffee this morning?
Seriously, though. I am a caffeine addict. Coffee "culture" is just another form of our consumerism.
Comment by keepsummersafe55 at 03/08/2021 at 15:13 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You might be interested to know some people are almost allergic. My husband is disgusted by the smell and dreads going into a coffee shop. He’s in tech and gets invited to meetings at coffee shops all the time. He sometimes suffers through this because he’s uncomfortable telling people about his whole body aversion. I told him just suggest another type of restaurant but it’s awkward at times. I feel bad all 3 of our kids love my pour over coffee with half and half. We try to minimize his exposure. Open the windows, get rid of the grounds…
Comment by bulakenyo1980 at 03/08/2021 at 15:19 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I am not as angry as you, but I agree with you.
I never liked coffee or tea.
Tastes like dirty water to me, without sugar and cream and syrup and stuff.
Comment by Empathic_Owl at 03/08/2021 at 11:50 UTC
-2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
It might be an unpopular opinion but I actually agree with you! Just last week I basically said the same thing to my partner about people being addicted to coffee.
Comment by StaringSnake at 03/08/2021 at 16:02 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You sir, deserve a medal for such quality rant 🏅 (have this one cause I have no gold)
Comment by ruetheblue at 03/08/2021 at 16:02 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I completely disagree, but god damn that was fun to read.
Comment by happygoth6370 at 03/08/2021 at 16:09 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Damn, someone torched my wine culture a couple weeks ago, now you coming for my coffee? Bloody hell. Why people trying to steal my joy?
Comment by mckenner1122 at 03/08/2021 at 16:11 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I won’t lie… I kinda heard it in George Carlin’s voice. Which, TBH, is the sign of a really good rant. Well done.
Comment by darklord01998 at 03/08/2021 at 13:55 UTC
-1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I made a similar post about black coffee a few months back. You've got a supporter
Comment by ObliviousAstroturfer at 03/08/2021 at 14:13 UTC
-1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The weirdest part for me was how much I agreed on, ie the creamer.
Like an alcoholic denigrading others for drinking a chaser after a shot.
9/10, would enjoy being called out again.
Comment by WisconsinHoosierZwei at 03/08/2021 at 14:25 UTC
-1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I gotta say, I appreciate the “between glyphosate and Joe Rogan” bit.
That was just…*chef’s kiss*.
Comment by N1NJ4N33R at 03/08/2021 at 14:41 UTC
-1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This is one of the best I’ve heard in quite some time. Makes me think of Denis Leary. I actually heard this whole thing in his voice.
Comment by NovaSierra123 at 03/08/2021 at 12:35 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
So did your partner come up with a counter-rant?
Comment by Chapafifi at 03/08/2021 at 14:32 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A man so angry he won't die
Comment by zcmini at 03/08/2021 at 15:11 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think you need to have a discussion with your partner about dish duty! Haha
Comment by threcklessraven at 03/08/2021 at 16:27 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Tbh I think you're right about coffee. And caffeinated drinks in general. I started drinking Coke and now I have to have at least about 50 mg of caffeine a day or I feel miserable.