Comment by gleddez on 05/08/2017 at 13:01 UTC

13643 upvotes, 18 direct replies (showing 18)

View submission: TIFU by cumming into a coconut

I was worried that your mum was accidentally gonna use the cumconut whilst cooking and serve it as a meal for dinner.

Replies

Comment by [deleted] at 05/08/2017 at 13:38 UTC

4591 upvotes, 9 direct replies

[deleted]

Comment by Demifiendish at 05/08/2017 at 13:33 UTC

1065 upvotes, 6 direct replies

Yeah, I honestly thought this was where the story was heading. OP would come home and find his mum eating the already opened coconut and drinking its "juice".

Comment by BxChris at 05/08/2017 at 14:16 UTC

61 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Seriously, I was expecting someone to find the coconut and drink the cocoNUT.

Comment by koiven at 06/08/2017 at 00:10 UTC

10 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I recommend a book called the Sympathizer where this happens with a squid, and the kid realizes that to not get caught he needs to be the one to eat that specific one

Comment by AlaskanIceWater at 05/08/2017 at 16:20 UTC

7 upvotes, 0 direct replies

http://i.imgur.com/LkJw4O3.gifv

Comment by llama_ at 05/08/2017 at 23:17 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Honestly that would have been better

Comment by Deadbreeze at 05/08/2017 at 23:03 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Its a cocumnut man. Get it right.

Comment by Scadilla at 07/08/2017 at 03:38 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I'm not certain but i think a girl that used a carrot fort masturbating was used in a dish by her dad.

Comment by Whateverbro30000 at 05/08/2017 at 22:26 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Like a North African Phillip Roth

Comment by erihel518 at 06/08/2017 at 00:04 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Chuck Palahniuk - guts

Comment by -Captain- at 06/08/2017 at 02:24 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Honestly what would you do.

Like what you gonna say. "We can't eat this." You'll get questions about that. Just fucking threw everything away with everyone looking puzzled/mad at you.

Comment by alligatorterror at 05/08/2017 at 23:44 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

CUMcoNUT. Best title for new fruit that follows rule 37.

Comment by cappstar at 05/08/2017 at 23:53 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Uh yeah that's way worse than this factual story

Comment by StandardDenseVoid at 06/08/2017 at 00:18 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Portnoy's Complaint?

Comment by Keyra13 at 06/08/2017 at 04:21 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

That...honestly would have been better.