Comment by [deleted] on 23/12/2018 at 16:09 UTC

Are you skilled enough in the art of coitus ? Once you master this ability you can reap fruits of your labor endlessly as you bareback with ferocity. ;)

Comment by DaemonKeido at 23/12/2018 at 19:33 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Successful comedy is 90% timing, 10% actual words used.

Obviously, you got a critical hit there lol

Comment by RedditIsNeat0 at 23/12/2018 at 19:56 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

What you said was way funnier.

Comment by Erotica_4_Petite_Pix at 23/12/2018 at 20:30 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

But you are pretty polite and kind! I would have replied with, “that’s none of your business” when she asked my age.

If I entertained her and told her my age and she pulled that judge mental shit I would have said, “that’s none of your fucking business.”

This dumb bitch came up to me the other day in a coffee shop to praise me for being so nice and smiling at her, and immediately tried to give me papers about Jesus when I asked her to leave me alone she was like, “I just wanted you to know it’s translated in 200 languages!!”

“Uhh. Does it look like I English isn’t my first language? Go away now.”

Comment by Hey_You_Asked at 23/12/2018 at 21:06 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Dude your answer was even better than the deodorant one *because* it hits her where it hurts.

You should feel VERY funny for that.

Also I responded on the thread but I want you to hear it: I'm really fucking proud of you, and seething at them. Stay yourself, and congratulations for having a smart head and being safe. You'll have time to hit it raw down the road and you won't care that you didn't before. All gucci.

My best to you!

Comment by SemiSeriousSam at 23/12/2018 at 21:22 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

"Whatever lady you know you want a piece of this"

Comment by [deleted] at 23/12/2018 at 22:02 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Yeah then when the cashier gets snarky you say “yeah first time banging your mom” like lmao just ring up the condoms asshole

Comment by [deleted] at 23/12/2018 at 23:20 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I don't know man, your comeback was pretty funny.

I would of came up with that 3 days later while trying to go to bed.

Comment by Sorkijan at 23/12/2018 at 23:59 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Hey man. Take it from someone twice your age. The response you had was perfect. It was funny because of how shocking it was and very blunt and true. And it had a very “mind your own damn business” subtext.

People need to stop being such prudes. Kids already are awkward enough and nervous about getting such things. Good on you for being safe. We’d probably have a lot of less unwanted pregnancies and std’s if our judgmental culture didnt make it such a taboo thing

Comment by beniceorbevice at 24/12/2018 at 00:25 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

From now on only buy Magnum condoms, trust me no one will be snarky and they'll fit unless you're very small

Comment by [deleted] at 24/12/2018 at 00:59 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

By the way you can order condoms off Amazon. I'm 27 and buy all that shit and get it delivered.

Comment by [deleted] at 24/12/2018 at 02:28 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

None of us are. We only think of that sort of smackdown after we're home.

Comment by TheAngryBlueberry at 24/12/2018 at 03:58 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

you a quality nigga for that one got me dying yo.

Comment by Log_Out_Of_Life at 24/12/2018 at 05:18 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

You she have just told her to go back and get some aloe for that burn.

Comment by laughing_cat at 24/12/2018 at 05:42 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I know you weren’t inclined to do this, but what should have happened was this should have been reported to the manager. I’m quite a bit older than you and if I’d been one of the people standing in line, I’d have insisted they summon the manager and have reported this after you left.

I’m sure Walgreen’s doesn’t want their employees acting like this and I’m sorry this happened to you.

On the other hand, “hit it raw”? Who talks like that? What they did to you was awful, but that’s not a proper thing to say in public

Comment by ickykarma at 24/12/2018 at 12:41 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

All the best comebacks come to us after the moment has passed.