5 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Relationship minimalism
Minimalism is about minimizing what doesn't matter, so you can maximize what does. That is different than "have the fewest number of [thing] possible". Social connection and strong communities are not only critical components of our species, but are invaluable tools to fight against hardships and injustices, no matter where you live or how you identify. In most philosophies, genuine high-quality relationships should be maximized.
Your previous struggles with "friends" using you for money etc. was not a consequence of being non-minimalist. Minimalism is *one framework* through which you can view the act of cutting ties with shitty people, but most non-minimalist also understand that shitty friends are not worth keeping around, so invoking minimalism as the solution is unnecessarily dogmatic in my opinion.
Personally, I am generous with my kindness and maintain friendships with whoever is a genuine friend to me. If this leads to me having 3 friends, then how lucky and grateful I would be. If this leads to to me having 100 friends, then how lucky and grateful I would be.
Comment by rationalunicornhunt at 26/01/2025 at 20:39 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It's a bit different for me....I agree about the importance of high-quality relationships, but I believe less is more because I don't actually have time for more that 4-5 GREATQUALITY friendships and I'm not interested in allowing random people into my life because I'm actually not very social...
Not everyone has the same needs. Don't assume that everything needs to maximize number of friends.
I used to be part of a larger crowd and it drove me insane and wasn't a positive experience even though many were good people! I only continued with it for a while because I was emotionally needy and insecure.
Intentionally keeping my friend number low allows me to be more selective socially and only be friends with people who are aligned with my values and have similar needs...
It's fine if you think that you need to have more friends, but for me deliberately being minimalist helps me feel less pressure to socialize when I would rather not and allows me to be more giving and supportive towards people I actually want in my life.
Having too many friends felt really oppressive to me and I actually felt less supported and less grateful for the friends I had, and I felt less genuine connection. Instead, I felt annoyed and overwhelmed.