298 upvotes, 8 direct replies (showing 8)
Playing the devil's advocate here, not all the persons will immediately assume someone is trans or know right away, had a friend who was really thin and like to have long hair and before he talk most people assume he was a girl.
Comment by YoutuberCameronBallZ at 09/03/2025 at 17:42 UTC
83 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Agreed, trans isn't the first thing that comes to people's minds so when they hear a feminine person sound masculine they think "oh no I made a mistake" rather than "they're a trans person"
Comment by nyaasora at 09/03/2025 at 17:16 UTC
79 upvotes, 1 direct replies
i am not even sure if most people in my country would think about someone being trans. i assume they just stared at me weirdly because i was obviously fem presenting but my voice doesn't sound very fem in my native language.
side note this was also during the first time i wore a skirt outside so i already had high anxiety and the staring doesnt help
like im not hating on people for stuff they dont know... but the interaction can still feel very annoying without the other side causing you to hate them.
Comment by bittersweetfish at 09/03/2025 at 17:18 UTC
68 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Not really devil’s advocate tbh. Getting offended when someone (who does not know you) gets your pronouns wrong and immediately jumping to the conclusion it’s because your trans seems a little naive.
It’s how they act after you explain to them that matters more imo.
Comment by Nuryyss at 10/03/2025 at 08:57 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Trust me, we know that. Getting misgendered is more of a “this situation fucking sucks” more than anything else. Unless it’s painfully obvious they do it on purpose, we just get sad that we don’t pass rather than mad or annoyed at the person
Comment by ashenfield87 at 09/03/2025 at 22:02 UTC
8 upvotes, 1 direct replies
It's more about context clues. I'm not under any delusion that I pass. But I'm wearing a dress, a full face of makeup, and carrying a purse. If you call me "sir" the only options are that you are stupid or trying to be hurtful.
Comment by YXTerrYXT at 09/03/2025 at 18:04 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Its exactly this. I almost never encounter trans people, but when I went to the movies with a group of friends, and one of the acquaintance there I only knew online had a dude voice. When I encountered her in person & heard her voice, it put me off for a second cuz I simply wasn't expecting a masculine voice from a woman.
Comment by AlphaYak at 10/03/2025 at 03:22 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yeah, I’m guilty there. Was raised in the southern US so I always call adults sir or ma’am as a mark of respect to all adults. Someone who I assume had just started transitioning still had their 5 o’clock shadow and masculine build, so I called them sir, but I did get a chance to apologize after I noticed they had changed their name on their name tag, and finally put the pieces together.
Comment by MGTwyne at 09/03/2025 at 17:47 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Getting othered and addressed wrong hurts even when it's a reasonable assumption, is the thing. Obviously it doesn't happen on purpose, often the person doing it has no way to know; that doesn't stop it from feeling like you've been stabbed. OP didn't make a big deal out of it, and indeed most trans folk usually don't... but that experience is pretty universal.