795 upvotes, 27 direct replies (showing 25)
Its sad that I now recognize corporate apologies so easily now. They are basically just a drag and drop template of "We messed up", "We're listening", "We will do better".
Comment by IthildinPerian at 07/07/2015 at 07:10 UTC
35 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I feel like I'm reading something about Destiny. Which has pretty much just been one giant, "oops we totally messed up, here's how we are to not fix it, no for real this time, we totally mean it, look shiny new DLC!"
Comment by jugalator at 07/07/2015 at 11:25 UTC
142 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Yes. :( Always judge companies by how they act, not how they write.
Comment by Nefandi at 07/07/2015 at 17:35 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Its sad that I now recognize corporate apologies so easily now.
Yea. It's like "How do I say fuck you, but so politely that people will accept it as a compliment?" Decorum is everything in our society, sadly. Any polite statement, even if its substance is trash, is considered good communication. And any statement containing curse words is considered garbage even when it is substantially correct or makes good arguments. We're a superficial society. That's also why people wear suits to an interview -- as if formal clothing ever enhanced anyone's performance. It's all for show.
Comment by withflyingcolors at 07/07/2015 at 14:46 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
"We want to hear from you" "We are here to encourage meaningful communication" "We're sorry[1]"
1: https://youtu.be/9u0EL_u4nvw?t=12
Comment by Cromodileadeuxtetes at 07/07/2015 at 13:02 UTC
17 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Just to play the devil's advocate, what **should** they say instead ?
Comment by Aiede at 08/07/2015 at 16:27 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Crisis communications 101:
When done correctly, this works, since it's how we were taught as kids to behave -- "Mom, I broke the cookie jar. I'm sorry, and I'm cleaning it up. I won't ever try to get a cookie without your permission again. I'm really, really sorry" -- but it falls flat when an organization doesn't *actually* go through the processes they promise to undertake in bullets three and four.
I don't want to say talk is cheap, since I know what my hourly rate is for corporate communications counsel, but it only has real value if there's operational followthrough.
Comment by MillionthIntername at 07/07/2015 at 11:28 UTC
13 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I recognize that the mistake shouldn't have been made in the first place, but, what can anyone anywhere say after a mistake except, "I fucked up. I will try not to again"? I am seriously asking. What would everyone LIKE TO HEAR? I assume "chooter is bak sorry we angered the hive mind r bad"
Comment by Why_Hello_Reddit at 07/07/2015 at 09:27 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Comment by zappadattic at 07/07/2015 at 15:24 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Don't you worry about Planet Express, let me worry about blank!
Comment by slap-a-bass at 07/07/2015 at 10:10 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Just like the Justin Bieber roast.
Comment by [deleted] at 07/07/2015 at 14:01 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Comment by kosmonaut5 at 07/07/2015 at 13:38 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
just wondering, but how could that reasonably be improved? that template works on paper, which is what the post is. (I am NOT necessarily agreeing or disagreeing with anyone, just a bystander in this whole fiasco)
Comment by DrAstralis at 07/07/2015 at 14:15 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Which I could live with, if they also had a drag and drop template for actually achieving any of those goals instead of just doubling down on the bad behavior that got them to that point.
Comment by PM_ME_YOUR_BOWL at 07/07/2015 at 15:52 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Its like when i got in trouble in highschool and wanted my parents to shut up and stop lecturing me. I didnt actually care what they said so I would just half-assedly say all of that.
Comment by [deleted] at 07/07/2015 at 09:33 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
"Now show me that butthole"
Comment by heiberdee2 at 08/07/2015 at 02:18 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm not familiar with this corporate apology template, but it doesn't surprise me that it's a thing. What do we want them to say instead, though?
What do we want them to say instead of the "standard corporate apology"?
Comment by [deleted] at 07/07/2015 at 15:55 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry. Sorry.
Comment by saltesc at 07/07/2015 at 13:34 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
They're striving to improve their management of such a valuable online social asset so that you, the end-user, get the product you truly deserve. They understand the justified upset in the community because they're listening. And they will endeavor to keep listening and implementing the needed changes to make Reddit a great place for everyone.
Your understanding and patience in the matter is truly appreciated and underlines what makes the Reddit community something special.
EDIT: *baaaaarrrrfff*
Comment by [deleted] at 07/07/2015 at 16:46 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The "we're listening." drives me into a rage. Something about the period at the end is so condescending.
"We're listening."
You're listening because you have to appear to be listening, not because you want to.
Comment by LeShulz at 07/07/2015 at 12:15 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Love how they probably gilded themselves too.
Comment by [deleted] at 08/07/2015 at 02:29 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Comment by NomThemAll at 07/07/2015 at 21:24 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Well, if at some point a company were genuinely apologizing, what *would* it sound like
Comment by Grey_Haze at 07/07/2015 at 17:09 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Reminds me of the publisher statements about the newest Batman on Steam..
Comment by thespoonlessone at 08/07/2015 at 06:16 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This is the template for any empty apology.
Comment by houghtob123 at 07/07/2015 at 16:41 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Like a bad relationship.
