-18 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
Do we really think he would have said “he’s not handsome anymore” about a male baby?
Probably he would.
It's not nice to see your child have to work harder, or wear more medical crap, than other kids around them.
The way he phrased it was insensitive, but it's equally insensitive to escalate and demand apologies on ones own behalf.
A more constructive response might have been to take him seriously, to validate what might have been a true expression of sadness from someone who cares for their child, and then explain how it could be nevertheless be hurtful.
Instead -- from OP's description -- they never validated the husband's sadness, and made it about themselves first, and their child second (and effectively the husband last):
I asked him “so you don’t think I’m beautiful then? And why would you say that about our daughter, what is wrong with you?”
As to his response it was a "joke", one gets the impression this is not the first such escalation in the relationship, and "just joking" is away to deflect from ugly conversations.
Fundamentally a couple's therapist would find lots to fault in both peoples' behaviours in this example.
Comment by iglidante at 09/01/2025 at 22:16 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The way he phrased it was insensitive, but it's equally insensitive to escalate and demand apologies on ones own behalf.
Why do you feel this way?
I wouldn't be able to look at my partner the same if they make a "joke" like this and then angrily doubled down and refused to apologize. Especially if I were also disabled.