Comment by pm_me_wildflowers on 21/01/2025 at 17:01 UTC

1 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)

View submission: On what women want

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I feel like both of you must be men, or must otherwise live charmed lives in some way. No, the solution to men being violent with you, a woman, is not to confront them about it. The solution is to leave if you feel safe to, but if you feel it’s not safe to and fleeing could just up the violence, you fawn as hard as you can, make them believe this is a real relationship, and then make them believe it’s just failing like a real relationship does and you guys need a regular old breakup. Because with a lot of these men the most dangerous thing you can do is make them believe you think they’ve abused you and now you’re going to run off and tell everybody. So no, it’s not on women being abused by men to make the men know they’re abusing them. It’s so far from their job that even making one believe it’s their job could get them maimed or killed.

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Comment by SilverMedal4Life at 21/01/2025 at 20:49 UTC

4 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I absolutely agree with you, to be perfectly clear. The onus should never be on the victim for the exact safety reasons you highlight.

It's why I qualified my statement with making sure that we have a society that actually believes victims, because once those people escape the danger, they need to be able to speak out without fear and the people who actually have power and agency (read: not the victim) then need to actually step in and take action.