20 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: On what women want
I agree with you. Ultimately, if someone is being hurt in a sexual relationship, they need to speak up about it - and we need to make sure we live in a world where people can freely say that without immediately being shut down or victim-blamed (which may or may not be in play here, but certainly is a part of our wider culture and has been for centuries).
Comment by pm_me_wildflowers at 21/01/2025 at 17:01 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I feel like both of you must be men, or must otherwise live charmed lives in some way. No, the solution to men being violent with you, a woman, is not to confront them about it. The solution is to leave if you feel safe to, but if you feel it’s not safe to and fleeing could just up the violence, you fawn as hard as you can, make them believe this is a real relationship, and then make them believe it’s just failing like a real relationship does and you guys need a regular old breakup. Because with a lot of these men the most dangerous thing you can do is make them believe you think they’ve abused you and now you’re going to run off and tell everybody. So no, it’s not on women being abused by men to make the men know they’re abusing them. It’s so far from their job that even making one believe it’s their job could get them maimed or killed.