47 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: On what women want
I've been following the Neil Gaimin debacle and it's apparent that childhood abuse may have warped him (I say may because I'm not qualified to make a therapuetic diagnosis). But that's a reason and does not excuse his choices in any way. What was even worse from my perspective was the damage being done to his child which everyone seemed to ignore. But on to the linked post.
While I found the author's reasoning in the linked post about the Gaimin debacle somewhat convoluted, I think that the meat of the post is the conclusion:
"I believe Pavlovich went through something awful that was not her fault; I also believe she made some choices that left her vulnerable to what happened, and some choices that made it
worse. As is the case with most awful experiences. And yes: if someone has sex with you that you didn't desire and didn't enjoy, I think it is better, all things considered, not to repeatedly tell him afterwards that it was wanted and wonderful you can't wait to do it again. Not just because it's important for people (and women are people, I must insist) to say what they mean, but because you should save those words to describe sex that is actually wonderful, and what you actually want. You
deserve nothing less."
I would add that the final sentence in this quote should probably apply to everyone regardless of gender.
Comment by SilverMedal4Life at 19/01/2025 at 22:03 UTC
19 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I agree with you. Ultimately, if someone is being hurt in a sexual relationship, they need to speak up about it - and we need to make sure we live in a world where people can freely say that without immediately being shut down or victim-blamed (which may or may not be in play here, but certainly is a part of our wider culture and has been for centuries).