1 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Do non-binary identities reenforce gender stereotypes?
I want to [checks notes] remove the social expectations surrounding gender.
Denying trans people the ability to define their own gender and viewing us as deviant forms of the two bio-essentialist genders you are willing to recognize isn't the inclusion you think it is
Comment by Trashtag420 at 14/01/2025 at 02:53 UTC*
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm not denying anyone the ability to define their own gender. What power do I have to do that?
I'm just pointing out, from observation, that when individuals use a personal definition for a word that they hinge their identity on, instead of the widely accepted definition, they often encounter confusion and even resistance from other people who don't adhere to their personal definition of that word, thus "threatening their identity."
And then a followup observation: that encounter with the bewildered stranger who uses a different definition is totally optional if, instead of redefining words to hang your identity on, you recognize that no one has ownership of language, and others will always interpret your words through their lens of understanding, not yours. Whatever meaning you imbue your words with, other people's brains will hear their own definition of the words you use.
None of this is my opinion that I'm trying to convince you of: this is just how communication works.
You will find more peace in your daily life if you don't try to force other people to alter their internal dictionaries in order to be affirmed. Use your personal *understanding* of gender to explore your identity, sure, I bear you no ill will. I don't know why you keep insisting I'm calling you deviant, I legitimately don't care. Hell, I care positively, I *want* you and others to find happiness and security in their identity.
I just want you to know that feeling secure in one's identity should not depend on others' definitions of words, because you can't control those. You would find more happiness and security in your identity if you didn't let the definitions of words restrict your understanding of the concepts they refer to.
You argued earlier that the generalizations of demographics are a thing we should recognize as imperfect but continue to use. Why not acknowledge that words like "man" and "woman" and their definitions are imperfect, instead of insisting on a sweeping redefinition campaign?