2 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Do non-binary identities reenforce gender stereotypes?
The definition of non-binary cannot be created by imposing a made-up definition on others who do not identify as NB.
Men and women are not defined by some deep inner sense of identity. Some may be, but that's not a criteria. For example, lots of women don't feel like women, but want to be in solidarity with common struggles women share under patriarchy. You don't get to define them out of existence.
Non-binary identities, like all gender identities are a cultural phenomenon specific to the time, place and history of any given person and community. They aren't any more defined by people's inner feelings as they are by their social context, availability as viable identity to take on and motivations of the person odentifying as such. No one gets to demand a specific set of inner feelings to recognize the validity of someone's NB identity.
Not caring about one's feelings in relation to one's body does not denote harmony between the two. It just indicates a lack of interest in the subject, an unwillingness to create hardships for oneself or a cultural/ideological perspective that doesn't make NB identities interesting or relevant.
I would add that trying to box trans women and men into some weird and deeply personal invasion of privacy by defining them based on intimate feelings instead of recognizing them as valid humans who don't owe anyone an explanation is transphobic AF. No one needs to even think about other people's inner feelings.
The only definition needed is an acknowledgment of people's existence and a commitment to upholding human rights. Trans folks are people who face discrimination because their bodies at birth do not match their gender. Non-binary folks are people who face discrimination because society is founded on a system that only recognizes 2 genders.
As for OP's initial question: it's not anyone's job to reinforce or not reinforce gender through merely existing as themselves. It's everyone's job to be in solidarity and fight gender-based oppression. Your freedom is never gained by diminishing someone else's.
Comment by noize_grrrl at 15/01/2025 at 07:40 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
You state that women don't feel like women, but want to be. That also constitutes someone's gender identity.
As a nonbinary person, I disagree with the statement feelings don't define nb identity. I realise you state it should be taken along with social context etc, however let's also distinguish between "feelings" and a sense of *identity.* You are correct that no one gets to *demand* a set of "feelings" etc, but that is not in any way what I was doing - I made no demands or gatekeeping of identity. However you must agree that identity isn't contingent on how we present - closeted trans people are valid and should be respected, non-passing trans people as well. So it does also come down to *honouring* people's sense of identity.
And yes, not caring about feelings in relation to one's body doesn't constitute harmony between the two, I'm not sure that I ever stated this.
I'm not sure how it is, as you put it, "transphobic AF" to state that trans people's identities should be respected, and that this isn't always immediately apparent if judging by externals only, and that identity is something that is known internally to a person. In no place did I write something to "box trans men and women" into an invasion of privacy by defining them based on personal feelings, but that you believe so indicates that perhaps we have a difference in understanding what *identity* is, and what it means to identify as a particular gender. In general I do believe thay people should ask and respect identity as we can't know this simply by looking at someone. To state we shouldn't need to think about people's inner feelings seems needlessly callous and disrespectful.
As a nonbinary person, my comments stem largely from my own lived experience and years of thought into my own gender. Nonbinary falls under the trans umbrella, though I cannot speak for all trans people, to attempt to do so would be to set myself up for failure.