4 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Do non-binary identities reenforce gender stereotypes?
The thing is, all of what you felt exists within the culture that you grew up in.
When you were questioning yourself whilst younger, it sounds like the issue came from two things - dysphoria with your physical self (your sex), and dysphoria caused by stereotypes imposed by the culture around you.
If those stereotypes weren't a thing, you'd just be left with the physical.
Maybe I'm just confused because I've never considered myself to have any form of gender - I do the things I want to do, like the things I want, and feel relatively ambivalent about my sexual organs (I'd be pretty fine with either - all that would change is the definition of my sexuality because of who I'm attracted to). I don't care what labels other people give me (barring slurs, of course - then it's just rude), because all that could potentially do is reveal their own sexist attitudes and beliefs, and why should those impact how I live my life?
Doesn't everyone just feel like themselves and then those who actually believe their gender to be important simply define part of themselves based upon expected norms (either being like them or not like them)?
I would define myself as "agender", except I feel like even acknowledging the concept of gender feels like reinforcing the idea that certain attributes connect to people who want or have certain genitals, which just seems incredibly backwards and sexist.
To me, gender just sounds like a complicated way to describe one's personality, whilst trying to inexplicably define that by antiquated ideals of what society dictates defines "boys" vs "girls".
What makes anything "masculine" or "feminine" if not simply stereotypes perpetuated within each culture?
Comment by avyiris at 14/01/2025 at 08:01 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I feel like you're starting to get it here. Gender is a construct, shaped by societal views of how people are "supposed" to perform. I didn't see you address this in any of your other comments, unless I misunderstood. I know of many nonbinary individuals who think gender shouldn't be a thing BECAUSE it can perpetuate those stereotypes, but due to the world we live in, gender has a place still. It's the name for how we're perceived, how we're grouped, what prejudices people have of us.
Using sex as a category can be useful in some case - often medical ones, but even then, sex alone isn't that cut and dry. For instance, a gyno doctor asking what sex someone is to determine whether or not they would be a candidate for a hysterectomy (totally hypothetical here). A better question would be whether or not someone currently has a uterus, as there are plenty of cis women who don't, and this may not be previously noted. Just stating someone is female would not give all the necessary information here. The same goes for asking questions about all kinds of medical things. Sex alone can be quite vague even in a medical context.
When most people refer to others in order to group them or categorize them somehow in a social setting, they aren't referring to chromosomes, sex organs, sexual characteristics, reproductive cell types, or genitals. Most of society upholds gender roles. There is no denying it. By adopting a nonbinary label, one may be challenging the concept of gender as a whole, not just gender "norms" themselves.
Does that make sense?
ETA: You mentioned that if those stereotypes weren't a thing, you'd just be left with the physical. I don't think anyone is arguing that. The fact of the matter is, those stereotypes DO exist.