11 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Do non-binary identities reenforce gender stereotypes?
The problem I have with this description is that you still haven't defined any gender identities. You've attempted to define gender (which still doesn't quite work for me, but it's a decent description), but it means nothing if you can't actually define any of the genders themselves without relying on outdated stereotypes.
For instance, what makes a person have a male gender once you remove any societal stereotypes (and of course not counting the physical attributes that make up "sex")?
Is it how someone dresses?
How they act?
What they like to do?
What they look like?
Those all just appeal to those same stereotypes that derive from societal formations.
How they feel?
Doesn't that also rely on connecting to stereotypical mannerisms or preference of physical body (which would be sex, not gender)?
Can you define any specific gender for me?
That's where people tend to fall down in any discussion I've been in - when they stop defining the concept of gender as a whole and start trying to define any individual gender itself.
Thanks for discussing though - none of what I question is ever meant to offend, I'm merely curious about something that's a huge part of society, and which I've never understood. I wear and act how I want to be and consider my "gender" to be "me". The whole concept of gender just seems like a way of saying "my personality" in a way that harkens back to (and reinforces) sexist stereotypes.
Comment by sarcasticsushi at 13/01/2025 at 00:55 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Hi I’m non-binary and I can attempt to answer this. Gender identity is the internal and individual experience of one’s gender. I think what people haven’t been explaining, which may be where the confusion is coming from, is the difference between gender expression and gender identity.
Gender expression is the way you act, body language, talk, the clothes you wear, hairstyles, etc. This is what I think you’re referring to as far as the stereotypes go because gender expression typically lies on the spectrum between stereotypical feminine and masculine presentation.
However, gender expression does not necessarily equal gender identity. Someone may behave and dress in a way that is masculine but identify as a woman (e.g. a tomboy). When you take away gender expression and the way that society views femininity and masculinity your gender identity is still there. I think a lot of it goes into how you view your “soul” for a lack of a better term.
Personally my experience has been shaped by gender dysphoria around being perceived as a woman. I’m AFAB and I’ve never internally felt like a woman. When I started developing through puberty I started having a lot of gender dysphoria around how my body was changing. I have always disliked my name because it sounds too stereotypically a woman’s name (which is not how I feel on the inside) and extremely disliked how I was perceived as a girl. Not due to sexism but because I felt like I was not a girl.
Starting in late elementary school, before I even knew nonbinary was a term, I would tell people that I was not a boy or a girl. In high school, I often felt like I performing as a woman and that they ways I acted/presented myself was not how I felt in the inside. The discomfort wasn’t about stereotypes around being a woman, but how people perceived me as being a woman. I eventually came out as nonbinary in college and started using they/them pronouns. This makes me feel more like myself because it signifies that someone isn’t viewing me as a woman.
However despite not feeling like a woman, I also don’t feel like a man. I feel like neither and it has always been extremely distressing to be viewed as either. Internally it feels like something kind of in between. Idk if that makes sense but that’s the best way I can describe it.