60 upvotes, 7 direct replies (showing 7)
View submission: Do non-binary identities reenforce gender stereotypes?
Thank you for your perspective. That last question you posed is especially intriguing and something I don’t think I’ve ever considered. Outside of body parts, social roles, and hormones, when I think of myself, I just think of my personality and thoughts. Nothing about that feels male OR female. I’m curious, and maybe it’s just different for everyone, but how would you define gender outside of those factors? If I were to say I feel female, with no consideration for body parts or social norms, what does that even mean? I would think that gender is not even a part of our soul/internal identity.
Comment by xob97 at 12/01/2025 at 19:38 UTC
22 upvotes, 2 direct replies
"when I think of myself, I just think of my personality and thoughts. Nothing about that feels male OR female"
Same
" I would think that gender is not even a part of our soul/internal identity."
Agree
Comment by Famous-Ad-9467 at 13/01/2025 at 13:26 UTC
8 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Nothing about me feels woman either. I have no woman feeling. I just know that this is the body I was born in.
Comment by noize_grrrl at 12/01/2025 at 10:24 UTC
10 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I really feel that the definition of an internal sense of gender differs for everyone. I've had it explained to me, mostly from binary trans friends who explained they have a strong internal sense of their gender. I know that a strong internal sense of gender is experienced and possible. Hearing this helped illuminate my lack of experience of an internal gender identity.
For my own internal sense of self, it is largely genderless, and I do not feel either male or female, but I do feel some kinship, a leaning to female internally, sometimes. But not strongly and not consistently, so I consider myself nonbinary because it most closely explains and helps me understand my internal experience of my own gender, or lack of strong feelings thereof. It has helped me come closer to understanding how I experience myself, and the self-knowledge has impacted how I move through the world.
So in a nutshell, I can't quite define what constitutes an internal sense of gender, but I have it on good word that you know it when you have it. Some folks have a strong sense of it, and some don't.
Comment by dreagonheart at 12/01/2025 at 11:47 UTC
14 upvotes, 5 direct replies
I would have seen it that way as well, which is actually why it took me a long time to figure out that I'm nonbinary. In the end, it was trans woman (as a general concept, I didn't know any at the time) and my mom who made me realize I definitely wasn't a woman. For my mom, her being a woman is a part of her internal identity, and a strong one! She has told me that if you put her brain in another body, it wouldn't change the fact that she was a woman.
It also occurs to me now, in fictions such as Ghost in the Shell where people get to choose different bodies, they're generally portrayed as always choosing the one aligning with what they were assigned, which always confused me. I figured you'd want to shake things up. But I guess it's natural to people who have a strong sense of gender.
Comment by FryCakes at 13/01/2025 at 23:23 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It’s so hard to explain but when there’s a mismatch, it’s actually painful. It’s like your brain associates “female” or “male” with certain things, such as body parts or clothing, and when there’s a mismatch between what the brain’s gender identity and those associations, it causes discomfort. Without that discomfort you don’t ever really think about your gender identity, but you think about it constantly when it’s there. It’s like itchy clothing
Comment by GoldenTheKitsune at 15/01/2025 at 07:13 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
SAMEEE THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT
Like, I forget about sex/gender unless I'm in the shower/toilet/dressing up. Like "time to pee oh cool I have a pussy". The rest of the time I have other things to think about.
Comment by Due-Pick3935 at 13/01/2025 at 21:25 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You nailed the answer to your own question. Delusional labels to express something void of answers. No one can conclude beyond biology what defines them as a gender. Everyone wants to be something and more identity creates more division. With no gender identity we become closer to equality and non social and cultural bias, however that would mean that men in society would have to give up on trying to dominate and control the female aspect.