3338 upvotes, 25 direct replies (showing 25)
I have been in situations where each side genuinely felt like the other was gaslighting them. I think it's an unfortunate outcome of mixing honest disagreement and trauma history.
Comment by [deleted] at 16/12/2021 at 06:07 UTC*
1823 upvotes, 35 direct replies
I honestly think people are just misusing the word gaslighting at this point.
Lying is not gaslighting. Misremembering events is not gaslighting either and interpreting certain social situations differently isn’t gaslighting either.
Gaslighting is a targeted attempt of making someone question their reality by repeatedly denying what they know to be true.
~~Gaslighting does not usually occur by accident, it’s an active and conscious attempt of manipulation.~~
EDIT: some people have pointed out that it doesn’t need to be intentional or conscious
Comment by Superfly724 at 16/12/2021 at 03:48 UTC
599 upvotes, 7 direct replies
It's the worst when it's mixed with narcissistic personality. A narcissistic person will make you feel like you're gaslighting them because they genuinely believe they did nothing wrong.
Comment by [deleted] at 16/12/2021 at 06:03 UTC
36 upvotes, 1 direct replies
It's because a lot of people don't actually understand what exactly gaslighting is. It's become a buzzword.
Comment by foundfrogs at 16/12/2021 at 05:23 UTC
17 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Also pop psychology.
Comment by Hurdleflurdle at 16/12/2021 at 08:21 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think if they're both using it they're not aware of the term. At least I, who has experienced gaslighting throughout my youth would never use that word easily. Even if I've noticed someone do it I'll never accuse the person of it, I'll tell them I feel confused. It doesn't make sense to me to use to word against another person. It doesn't do anything but damage for either party. It can, however, be used to understand it for yourself and talk about it with others to figure out if it's the case.
Sorry for so many edits, my brain is dead today. Lot of mistakes
Comment by xistithogoth1 at 16/12/2021 at 09:30 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Some people genuinely believe the things they say are happening to them. Schizophrenic people believe completely when they are talking to someone that's not there. If someone believes that another person is gaslighting them, it may not actually be gaslighting but the way they feel might feel so bad that they actually think they're being gaslit.
Comment by Asswaterpirate at 16/12/2021 at 09:50 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I am currently watching two people who are/were best friends go through this right now.
Neither side will cave, and I can't help. I've tried. I fear their friendship might be fully over.
Comment by undercover_redditor at 16/12/2021 at 12:00 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Victims can be narcissists too.
Comment by cascadez at 16/12/2021 at 14:24 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This is 100% correct, I've been there :/
Comment by EXTRAsharpcheddar at 16/12/2021 at 21:51 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
trauma history.
A close friend was doing this to me, and I knew that there was more to it because of past trauma. Talking it out made it a lot better
Comment by [deleted] at 12/01/2022 at 01:42 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
[deleted]
Comment by SuddenlysHitler at 16/12/2021 at 10:25 UTC
0 upvotes, 1 direct replies
where each side genuinely felt like the other was gaslighting them
That's the problem, giving in to the mentally ill and letting them continue thinking they're being abused because they're paranoid as fuck.
No, you're not being fucking gaslit nd you need to stop being a paranoid freak or get the fuck away from me, I can't deal with it no more.
Comment by Emuuuuuuu at 16/12/2021 at 05:23 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Comment by big_bad_brownie at 16/12/2021 at 05:56 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
In any situation where both people people are acting crazy, they’re both going to feel like they’re being gas lit.
Sometimes your feelings are actually just *your* feelings, but god damn if the internet doesn’t love a good impromptu support group.
Comment by captain-carrot at 16/12/2021 at 06:54 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My wife has only recently heard about gaslighting and has no idea what it actually means so accuses me of it all the time.
Example, she'll ask me to do something and I'll say yeah sure then totally forget to do it and she'll say I'm gaslighting her!
I tried to set her straight and she then accused me of mansplaining so I've given up.
Irony is, she uses it in the wrong context so much I've started to doubt myself in knowing what it means 😄
Comment by djmagichat at 16/12/2021 at 06:58 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Good chance they didn’t know what gas lighting meant and they just didn’t know they were fucking each other over.
Comment by GhostSushimi at 16/12/2021 at 08:23 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I had a guy I thought was my friend give me a threat of I told his wife he owed money that clear. When I completely ditched and blocked him he was like oh I didn't mean it you misunderstood. It was a threat not a joke the way they said it. People are assholes even if you help them and then he tried to get me to talk to him again hella creepy like texted me from two other numbers.
Comment by ademptia at 16/12/2021 at 09:25 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes, thank you
Comment by Breakingcontrollers at 16/12/2021 at 10:53 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'll take ...things me and my ex went through, for 500
Comment by robospydogg at 16/12/2021 at 11:32 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This so much
Comment by Pipple_Nipple at 16/12/2021 at 13:44 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Idiots, it's the fact that they are idiots.
Comment by FishInMyThroat at 16/12/2021 at 13:48 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Wife's therapist gave her the word gaslighting despite it not being true. We had one fight in which we could not agree on what just happened and I said "It feels like I'm going crazy when arguing with you about reality" and boom, gaslighting.
Comment by KaiserWilhelmIIHun at 16/12/2021 at 14:14 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
That's just life gaslighting both of you
Comment by andwhatson at 16/12/2021 at 15:55 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
That just sounds like a toxic relationship and both parties need to learn how to respect the other person wants needs thoughts and feelings in conv/argument
Comment by QuizzaciousZeitgeist at 16/12/2021 at 21:23 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Are you trying to gaslight reddit into thinking we are wrong?