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View submission: Not into the sex — are we doomed?
You need to be honest with yourself... This is not a true relationship. You meet only when it's convenient for him. He seems to dominate the dynamic and has preconceived notions that he expects you to accept. Why does he believe you should comply? When you say, 'I was going to go along with it (The video) because I love him,' it signals that he knows you struggle to say no. He may use passive-aggressive tactics and gaslighting, like claiming you make him feel like a creep for asking, to manipulate you into submission. Don’t fall for it—value yourself more.
You can simply tell him that without an emotional connection, you can’t enjoy any intimacy. An emotional bond can't develop when you only meet every couple of months without making an effort to build a meaningful connection or commitment. You might say that you've tried but feel you're not aligned emotionally or sexually. It seems you've given this enough time and have decided to move on. Keep your message brief and straightforward. Don’t let him argue his side; he may try to manipulate you into staying when faced with rejection.
Interestingly, you suspect he might tell you to F-off and not contact him again. I think deep down, you know he doesn't value you at all. If that's the case, consider yourself lucky that he's made the decision clear and simple for you.
There's nothing here!