2 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
A passenger in life seems like a good description. I’ve dated boys like this too, and it made me feel like mommy. No initiative was ever taken and no real career aspirations are a libido killer. I couldn’t even be friends with people like this. I see you’re planning on breaking up and honestly, I would. She needs to be on her own to figure out her sense of self instead of this enmeshment.
I have to be a high functioning corporate lizard in my masculine energy all day and prefer to revert to caveman times when we are at home. Not in every aspect but in a few very specific ones. But this is communicated extensively and not as a rule or default.
Comment by Midas_Ag at 14/01/2025 at 20:24 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yeah, therapy today confirmed that I care for her enough to not lose herself in trying to please or defer to me. She needs to find her voice, and her own needs, wants, and desires. And she needs to find them for herself, not for anyone else. Everything she wants to do is because she knows I like it. When I want to know what SHE wants so we can mix it up. It truly is a drain for someone to not be able to make a decision, or to tell me they get frustrated and anxious when I ask them to make a choice.
Not only that, but I have told her numerous times I am not fully comfortable with some of her requests and she keeps requesting (to just do what eever I want, no consent needed). That's not being respectful of my boundaries. And she needs to be able to assert her own boundaries. I can be there for her while she figures this out, but I can not be WITH her while she figures it out.
And maybe she truly does want a Dom/Sub relationship, but I don't. That's a categorical mismatch right there