3 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Are some people too jaded to love??
This all seems fine. Arguing isn't bad by itself either. It is a skill to learn how to have healthy disagreements.
The idea that someone HAS to be "all in" is flawed. You're learning new skills of relationship development. Good job.
Whether you get invested; and whether things work out are 2 separate things. You're comparing staying in a relationship of abuse too long, to a relationship just not working out. But in the past, you saw your emotional investment as a reason to not be allowed to exit a relationship. (See learning new skills).
You're on the right path basically. It takes time to find a healthy balance of attachment, boundaries, consent, respect for self, respect for other's boundaries etc. (EDIT: you're both learning new skills. So good job to both of you. It's a lot of work.)
And I think it's natural for 2 people to have different amounts of attraction and investment. You both have different lives, opinions, thoughts and experiences. Relationships are complicated to navigate.
So, both of you keep trying to improve yourselves and finding healthy balance in life. Whether or not things work out is a problem for future you and future him. Today you has other things to focus on 😊
Comment by Wonderful_College_48 at 10/01/2025 at 16:01 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
This response resonates with me. Previously, I was involved with men who would move way too quickly. Sometimes even a month in, professing deep feelings of love. From that experience, it’s made me question if he’s truly in- we’ve discussed where his emotions are and he says he is in but he’s not as deep into it as me; though he is working on allowing himself to get there. There were a couple of times he thought I was going to break up with him due to disagreements (no fights but just differences and hurt feelings). I feel like he’s learning to trust that a disagreement doesn’t mean a break up.