Comment by FluffyLlamaPants on 28/11/2024 at 22:52 UTC

6 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)

View submission: How often to visit elderly grandparents?

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Plus, will be harder to guilt/complain/judge while they're talking about past. Think about it - they're a living historical record of a world they knew that's long gone. Bring a notebook and keep asking them questions.

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Comment by AtleastIthinkIsee at 29/11/2024 at 08:02 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I second this.

You can control the whole tone of the conversation and visit if you keep the focus on something that they may feel happy to indulge in. That'll shift the pity me bs and put them in a position of feeling valued and important. The need for martyrdom doesn't need to exist--at least for the duration of a visit.

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I know visiting is hard but I truly tried to make it as much as I could. I talked to staff and saw it with my own eyes how much people *didn't* visit their loved ones and how it affected them. When visiting my grandfather, I had one woman ask me to escort her back to her room after dinner was done in the cafeteria and she didn't want to let me go. I still have no idea who she was, she had no idea who I was but clearly she just wanted company.