12 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: 33f and feeling my age
35 and also single + childless not really of my own choice.
I think an important thing to understand is that everyone really is on their own timeline. You’re not the only early to mid thirty something that is in this position and feels like they’ve missed the boat on a family life. I’m very much the same. And I’ve read plenty of other posts in here that are similar enough to know that many of us in this age bracket are in a similar spot for one reason or another. You because you had a LTR that didn’t work out + you’re still getting your career set up. Me because I got sick for a period of time and was disabled/not in actual life. Someone else because they got married to the wrong person and now they’re single and wanting a child but about to be 40.
Something I have been trying to remind myself, and work to practice, is to stop the: I’m getting so old, bullshit. Because it’s bullshit. I’ve been doing it to myself since I’m in my twenties. I guess I’ve gotten old enough and aware enough to know that if I am lucky to make it to my 40s, I’ll look back at how young I was at 35. And likely feel just as young and dumb at 40. If I’m lucky to make it to 50, I’ll feel the same way about my 40s.
I think it’s just important to be strategic. At any age, but more so when you’ve got a clock ticking a bit. I look at the people who are in a decent career and married and have kids and wonder (aside from my years of being sick) why that wasn’t me. But I see that most of these people actually wanted a partner and knew it and went out and got it. On dating apps. On whatever. And they’ve made their lives work for them.
Just gotta pick the life you want and work everyday to create it, which will always be an ongoing process. I think and hope.
Comment by Ceret at 03/07/2024 at 08:28 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
What a lovely thoughtful comment.