260 upvotes, 6 direct replies (showing 6)
View submission: Who does diapers?
Honestly, it doesn’t even matter what’s happening in our relationship. If it’s starting to irk you… it’s going to become a bigger problem. Take the opportunity to talk about it and hopefully your partner steps up.
My example, I have done every night waking and morning. That’s fine for me because I don’t sleep well and I function well on little sleep and I couldn’t sleep through the noise anyway. I do every bath. I enjoy it. That works for me but wouldn’t for others. But my partner was never doing meal time. And that was a sticking point for me so we had to talk about it. He wasn’t comfortable, worried about choking, I said he had to get over it, he did.
Comment by Wh33l at 15/01/2025 at 14:47 UTC
77 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Just coming here to echo this sentiment. What other people do in their relationships doesn’t matter - it’s a problem if it bothers you.
I’m sure to a lot of people my division of labor doesn’t seem fair when I say that I do all night wakings and change all the diapers. But I also do zero grocery shopping, zero meal planning, zero laundry, zero cooking, and zero after dinner clean up - including dishes. I would much rather change diapers than do any of these tasks!
Comment by Duchess7ate9 at 15/01/2025 at 15:30 UTC
14 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I love this comment, I’ve done the same things with certain aspects of parenting but until you bring it up and ask, you’ll never know the reason why they weren’t doing it.
My husband won’t clip our son’s nails because he took it so hard when he clipped the skin. But now that my son is 14 months, built like a tank, and is a wiggly little worm, my husband and will keep him still while I clip the nails (which is a HUGE help) so it works for us and neither of us are bitter that the other isn’t doing something.
Comment by Stunning-Let-9754 at 15/01/2025 at 20:38 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes, I was looking for a comment like this! My husband doesn’t change diapers but it doesn’t bother me. I don’t ask so he doesn’t offer. If I told him to change a diaper for me, he would. Outside looking in, people may judge but its not a bother to me so idc what others have to say about it. Every relationship is different with different problems.
Comment by corgisandsushi at 15/01/2025 at 15:29 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This!!
Comment by La_ra_bar at 16/01/2025 at 01:20 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yep, came here to echo this. Heard something along those lines on a podcast and thought it was some of the best relationship advice I'd ever heard. If it's a problem for you, is a problem.
Comment by 9eaerde7 at 15/01/2025 at 15:41 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This!