584 upvotes, 24 direct replies (showing 24)
View submission: Who does diapers?
I, the mother didn’t change a single diaper for like the first week and I had a rough recovery from c section
ETA: it is now pretty even, I am home all day with baby but when husband gets home he takes like 90%+ of the diapers.
Comment by s1rens0ngs at 15/01/2025 at 13:30 UTC
114 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Same. My husband did everything he could for the first two weeks while I focused on establishing breastfeeding and recovering.
Comment by stessij at 15/01/2025 at 14:42 UTC
19 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same! My husband changed all the diapers at the hospital and then for the first two weeks home. I even had an emotional-hormonal breakdown because I thought I was never going to learn how to change our baby’s diaper and I was a bad mom. 😅
OP your partner needs to do better!
Comment by A_Simple_Narwhal at 15/01/2025 at 15:14 UTC
12 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same, I think I maybe changed one diaper in the hospital, and just because I wanted to try it out with a nurse watching. Other than that my husband changed all the diapers.
He said it was literally the least he could do since he couldn’t really do much else in the beginning. It eventually evened out when we went home as he was able to do more.
It’s absolutely shameful that OP’s husband has done zero diapers. He better be contributing in some other way, but I’m guessing if he was pulling his weight elsewhere OP wouldn’t be upset and asking for advice.
I’m sadly starting to understand why every doctor and nurse in the hospital praised my husband to the moon and back for being such a wonderful father for doing (what he considered) the bare minimum - it’s because of useless lumps like OP’s husband.
Comment by chemicalfields at 15/01/2025 at 14:24 UTC
20 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Yup, my husband changed all diapers at the hospital bc my undercarriage was not in *great* shape to be getting off and on the bed and reaching. At home, it’s not even a thing. Whoever’s there does it, we don’t even think about it
Comment by corgicourt20 at 15/01/2025 at 13:52 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Same here for two weeks after an unplanned c- section. And after that we split them evenly.
Comment by sagepainter at 15/01/2025 at 13:16 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same!
Comment by kaydontworry at 15/01/2025 at 14:49 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
SAME! My husband changed every diaper for like 2 weeks after we brought ours home.
If he’s home with me, it’s pretty equal.
And on weekends, we both get one day to sleep in and the other parent gets up with our kid and does all the morning routine stuff.
Comment by Hi-Point_of_my_life at 15/01/2025 at 15:41 UTC
6 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I would say the one positive thing about my wife having to do an emergency c-section was that it really forced me to just jump right in and start doing diapers. I went from never having changed a diaper to being proficient at it really quick. Plus our son was a little under weight so our routine was I would change him and get him ready and then she would feed him every 2-3 hours.
Comment by nynaeve_mondragoran at 15/01/2025 at 13:34 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I change maybe 3 diapers a week. Either my husband or daycare changes them. I feed the baby, he handles waste management. I also do all night time wakes because all she wants is mama at night, dada is not acceptable.
Comment by Aggressive_Walrus532 at 15/01/2025 at 16:05 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same. Even after I was feeling better he changed most of the diapers since we were both on leave. We had a pretty good routine where he’d change her and then pass her off to me to nurse.
We still do that when there are night time feedings but during the day we’re pretty evenly split.
Feeling for OP, parenting is a team effort in all ways. When they are home together, they should be sharing baby duties as much as possible.
Comment by ewebb317 at 15/01/2025 at 13:27 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same
Comment by Ok_General_6940 at 15/01/2025 at 14:46 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same. I could count on one hand the number of diapers I changed the first three weeks after my csection
Comment by Key-Wallaby-9276 at 15/01/2025 at 13:48 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same. My husband changed almost all the diapers while on paternity leave
Comment by corgimonmaster at 15/01/2025 at 13:36 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same
Comment by spazzytara at 15/01/2025 at 14:43 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I had a good recovery from a c section and i still didnt do anything but feed the baby for 3 days.
Comment by valiantdistraction at 15/01/2025 at 15:25 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same. My husband changed the vast majority of diapers for the first month. And same in that I'm a SAHM but my husband changes most diapers before/after work so the number works out to be pretty even. He is sad to have to go to work and miss out on all this time with our son, but we are not independently wealthy so someone has to work. But he tries to make up for the time he's missed when he's here.
Comment by CoelacanthQueen at 15/01/2025 at 15:29 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same. Had to fight my husband to let me change the diaper. Even now I will take her to go change and he asks me if I want him to do it so I can rest. OP, I hope you can have a productive conversation with your partner about this. Raising a child is a team effort. It’s not always 50/50, but zero diaper changes would have me considering if I should just do it all myself minus partner completely
Comment by ExcitingLeave4693 at 15/01/2025 at 15:34 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same here!! I made my husband show me how to change them because I was self conscious of having to change one in front of a nurse eventually and not knowing how to (FTM problems haha)
Comment by beantownregular at 15/01/2025 at 16:49 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same! My husband is way more on diaper duty than I am if he’s home. We didn’t even decide this, that’s just what he did from the beginning
Comment by moistforrest at 15/01/2025 at 18:27 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
same! idek what meconium looks like cause hubby changed every diaper in hospital. He works from home and I'm on mat leave so I do diapers during the day (he helps if he can step away) and in the evenings/weekends we do most diapers together.
Comment by IlexAquifolia at 15/01/2025 at 19:28 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same. I remember when my husband was like “do you want to try a diaper?” And I was like “oh god I don’t know how, help me”
Comment by StaringBerry at 16/01/2025 at 00:32 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same and I had an uncomplicated, unmedicated, vaginal birth. My husband saw what I went through to grow and birth our baby and knew I’d have my hands full with learning to breastfeed. He completely owned diaper duty from the start. Even now at 15 weeks, he gets up first overnight to change her before handing her off to me to feed.
Comment by Ewolra at 16/01/2025 at 03:22 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same, my husband had to teach me how to change a diaper abs how to swaddle etc. when baby was 1-2 weeks. I’d say since about 1mo we’ve been even.
Comment by DueVeterinarian1222 at 16/01/2025 at 06:06 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same. I swear he actually enjoys evaluating her poops. I literally hear him in there telling her ‘nice work’ when it is a doozy 😆