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View submission: How Men Become Aziz Ansari
Something I've been meaning to do for a while is write up my own #metoo story....about the two times that I unambiguously fucked up with consent. And yeah, it's tough to know how to talk about it, because what I did absolutely fits the definition of sexual assault, but I think in both cases if the other person even remembers it, they would instantly say my apology (and determination to never do that again) was the extent of what I needed to do.
So on one hand I don't want to underplay it, but on the other it's not like I think I escaped justice or anything.
and I know I'll get asked so rather than being coy....
First story was I was making out with someone. She made it absolutely clear we were going to leave our clothes on, and she didn't want me to touch her breasts even over the clothing. At one point I convinced myself it would be "funny" to poke her breast "as a joke." She pulled back immediately and called me out on it, and I had to do some introspection about how even I was capable of lying to myself in the same way that could ultimately lead to rape.
The second story was I had a house party and was really drunk. Someone I had had a crush on for a while ended up lying on my bed to pass out as I was getting ready to sleep, and I remember saying to her something about me taking it that she wanted to cuddle. I ended up feeling her up under her shirt to her breasts before realizing she was definitely passed out, stopped, and went to sleep myself. Told her about it in the morning with a lot of apologies. Once again had a lot of introspection to do, as well as setting boundaries with myself with alcohol.
There's nothing here!