113 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: How Men Become Aziz Ansari
I'm a bisexual man, I've had this sort of encounter myself (generally with other men). It really feels terrible in the moment and afterward, and I think one of the foundational issues is that our culture doesn't have the language to discuss what it is, and why it feels so bad.
Did it feel bad because you didn't want it?
I think when we think about consent there are differences between Hell yeah!, Okay, and No.
Comment by badass_panda at 17/02/2025 at 16:36 UTC
264 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Did it feel bad because you didn't want it?
Yes, basically. A scenario where you are signaling that you do not want to have sex (or have that *type* of sex) verbally and nonverbally, are clearly uncomfortable, but something about the circumstance makes you feel coerced into going along with it, feels really bad and, well, *is* really bad. It's not bad in the same way as being drugged or forced into sex at gunpoint or something, but it's still not awesome.
I think when we think about consent, there are differences between Hell yeah!, Okay, and No.
That's true -- and we gotta understand that, "No... No... No... No... Please No... Okay," is a very different experience from, "Okay."