24 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Boys Want a Strong Relationship With Their Teachers. That Doesn't Always Happen
I'm not clear, but it sounds like your point is that its good and right that students lack strong relationships with teachers. In any event, that's a perspective I strongly disagree with. As an initial matter, it's not like a strong relationship between a student and teacher is necessarily parental; I had many teachers who were helpful mentors and guides in my own experience, and know the same was true for my peers. In general, having multiple, strong relationships with adults can help young people gain perspective as they become more responsible for their decisions and can help motivate effort in the classroom, as discussed in the article.
I think fears around relationships where there is any power balance are reasonable, given the well-publicized and horrible abuses visible in the news. However, a response that only further distances people from those they spend the most time is unhealthy and contributes to the endemic social isolation in the United States.
To your point about distrust of opposite-sex relationships; I think that's a fair observation, and points to a couple steps; 1) that the patriarchal norms that support this perspective be progressively broken down, and (relatedly but more immediately) 2) men be supported more in the teaching profession so that boys have some teachers with whom they can form relationships without causing suspicion from themselves and others.
Comment by steerpike66 at 17/02/2025 at 02:17 UTC*
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
'it sounds like your point is that its good and right that students lack strong relationships with teachers.'
Nope.
I am not remotely interested with nebulous words like 'good or right.'
The problem is boys' social and academic failure at school by comparison with girls; their premature ego-death, and how it can be prevented.
A role model is 'someone like me but better' or 'someone I want to be.'
It is a hard fact that the vast majority of boys aged 11 to 16 do not see this in women. If they have no male role-models themselves (no dad, no brother) the need for a man to pattern themselves on become a desperate rudderless compulsion, a lifelong pathology that will drive them into the arms of toxic masculinity cults, criminal gangs, authoritarian political groups, creepy subcultures, and other dubious dad substitutes.
It is not sexist to acknowledge this; it is in fact very irresponsible to present this desperate need as mere bias or chauvinism and the needy boys as stupid or pathetic or weak..