109 upvotes, 2 direct replies (showing 2)
View submission: Boys Want a Strong Relationship With Their Teachers. That Doesn't Always Happen
People generally are p distrustful of 'strong relationships' between children and adults of the opposite sex. Women are seen as safe. So are girls. Boys are seem as latently dangerous, so are men, with some justification.
There is some danger of identifying teachers as in any way parental substitutes at the very moment in development when kids are keen to be seen as at least partly independent of parents. Boys in particular are expected by their peers to temporarily reject 'mommy' and establish their own agency. No kissing bye bye in front of the school etc.
Comment by Burden15 at 16/02/2025 at 16:50 UTC
22 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I'm not clear, but it sounds like your point is that its good and right that students lack strong relationships with teachers. In any event, that's a perspective I strongly disagree with. As an initial matter, it's not like a strong relationship between a student and teacher is necessarily parental; I had many teachers who were helpful mentors and guides in my own experience, and know the same was true for my peers. In general, having multiple, strong relationships with adults can help young people gain perspective as they become more responsible for their decisions and can help motivate effort in the classroom, as discussed in the article.
I think fears around relationships where there is any power balance are reasonable, given the well-publicized and horrible abuses visible in the news. However, a response that only further distances people from those they spend the most time is unhealthy and contributes to the endemic social isolation in the United States.
To your point about distrust of opposite-sex relationships; I think that's a fair observation, and points to a couple steps; 1) that the patriarchal norms that support this perspective be progressively broken down, and (relatedly but more immediately) 2) men be supported more in the teaching profession so that boys have some teachers with whom they can form relationships without causing suspicion from themselves and others.
Comment by realestatedeveloper at 15/02/2025 at 20:15 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
with some justification.
Even when considering proportional numbers, female teachers are more likely to be sexually inappropriate with students than male teachers.
Men are more likely to be violent, but in the context of sexual abuse of students, it is not justified to presume greater danger from men than from women.