2 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
I think that’s a perfectly valid question. It’s only *sorta* about single gender spaces. What it’s also about is the fact that boys and girls tend to be socialized differently and having a group where everyone speaks a similar language is absolutely helpful for communication.
Let’s take something stereotypical for gendered communication: men search for solutions to problems while women want to discuss their feelings on the problem.
If a guy had a problem and wanted to solve it, he wouldn’t need to talk about how it makes him if it feels like an inefficient use of his time if he talked to primarily to men. If he was talking to a group of women he may have to first explain he’s looking for a solution-based discussion rather than caring about the emotional context. By talking to a same single-gender friend group he’s bypassed a whole conversation because there is a shared understanding on what his goal is. This can obviously be reversed for women.
Comment by CaptainAsshat at 15/02/2025 at 18:10 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think there's more to it. Men often provide solutions so they can find a fast but empathetic way to move on from venting personal problems. Discussing problems in general is not the type of friendship they want to receive or provide, not that they simply prefer talking about solutions to problems.
Personally, venting problems usually does very little for me emotionally, often requires unwarranted validation as part of venting's social expectations, and does not grow a bond between myself and friends. It just seems like free, and often un-nuanced therapy. For me, friend groups are primarily there for shared experiences and a sense of community.
As such, IMHO, the loss of third space sharable experiences in which men WANT to partake is at the heart of the loneliness epidemic, alongside the development of alternative at-home solo experiences like TV, internet and video games.
Women are often the other reason young men go to these third spaces, so promoting men-only spaces will significantly limit that pull further. From my experience, my gay male friends do not seem to have this large of a third space issue, and I think the fact that their men-only spaces contain their targets of romantic interest is a big part of that. Similarly, in my experience, married men show a rapid reduction in third space activities after marriage, and I suspect this is due to a similar issue: there aren't as many activities readily available these days that men all want to do together.