Comment by GraveRoller on 14/02/2025 at 19:18 UTC

38 upvotes, 5 direct replies (showing 5)

View submission: Men, Women and Social Connections - Roughly equal shares of U.S. men and women say they’re often lonely; women are more likely to reach out to a wider network for emotional support

FWIW I don’t think the “male loneliness epidemic” really exists by the numbers. I do think there’s a loneliness issue generally. I also think most discussions online about male loneliness are most about “men (specifically the one speaking about the topic) not getting laid”. And the data is kinda iffy? Sexlessness is on the rise and I’m sure many people are aware of the old Pew study saying nearly double 20-30 women were in a relationship vs men, and the General Sex Survey around the same time seemed to reflect that, but the most recent one indicates more of a general non-gendered sexless trend.

Let’s focus on something more interesting though:

on page 4, only 47% of men think all-male groups have a positive affect on society. Obviously much less women all-male groups are good, but literally not even half of men think that is crazy. Only 57% of men think it’s even good for men’s well-being.

50% of leaning Dem people think it’s good for men’s well-being (vs 63% leaning Rep). On one hand, no wonder Dems lose make support

But also, literally only 50% of Reps think all men group are good for society. Not to break the stereotype that Dems don’t care about men, their 50% drops to 37% when it comes to society

Men barely trust men and Republicans seem to like men drastically more, and they barely like men

Replies

Comment by VimesTime at 15/02/2025 at 00:56 UTC

25 upvotes, 0 direct replies

FWIW don't think the "male loneliness epidemic" really exists by the numbers.

Why are you framing that as a matter of opinion? The OP linked two studies, both of which demonstrate a marked difference in gendered numbers of people who do not have any close friends or who only have one. They have numbers. They have data. Methodology, all of it. No opinion required!

I don't personally care about the dating aspect, I'm married. But the friendship part is both actively difficult and the issue that is actually being studied here.

It's one thing to have to deal with people acting like it's solely an incel concern, but it's another to have someone commenting on a post about a study that HAS hard numbers, while actively ignoring what they are in favour of vibes.

Comment by gelatinskootz at 14/02/2025 at 20:30 UTC*

16 upvotes, 2 direct replies

Regarding the men's group stuff- it's not particularly difficult to find groups that happen to be all men, so making it codified or part of their identity as an "all-male" group is largely unnecessary. I dont even mean that in the sociological "men are the default and all our institutions cater to them" way. I mean that you can just go to a local MMA class or Magic the Gathering event or insert whatever male-dominated hobby and more than likely find a group that just happens to be all men

Comment by sweatersong2 at 14/02/2025 at 19:57 UTC

20 upvotes, 2 direct replies

I have hunch/conjecture that the identification with male loneliness has to do with a more existential condition than something you can put a number on.

There’s this popular British song from the 70s called Up the Junction (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQciegmLPAo[1]) which focuses on a story with a lot of subtext about male loneliness. Something interesting about it is there is a gender-switched cover Lily Allen did of it which rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, because in thinking it could work the same way showed she didn't really "get" the point. It's not often that people sincerely take offense on behalf of something "for" men.

1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQciegmLPAo

In the song, the narrator tells about falling in love, getting a lady pregnant, working longer and longer hours to put away money for her and the kid, and then being left for a soldier two years after as his drinking had gotten out of hand. So he sacrificed himself for a future he never got to see. That particular kind of loss speaks to some deeply rooted feelings a lot of men experience

Comment by gastritisgerd at 14/02/2025 at 19:33 UTC

7 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I’ve always wondered this, and maybe you have the answer, but what’s the value of single gender friend spaces/groups? I hear this talked about fairly frequently, but I’ve never personally seen any value in it. (Sorry this is a bit off topic.)

Comment by iluminatiNYC at 14/02/2025 at 19:33 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I think the loneliness epidemic is real, but I also think that there's more nuance and color to it than is realized.

For example, there's a real generation gap with male loneliness. The structures that allowed men to have friends are working as well the younger you go. I also think class is a massive factor that isn't comfortably discussed. If all social activities require a certain amount of cash, the better off you are, the more friends you have. That's the case now, and it wasn't as dramatic a different 20-30 years ago.