3 upvotes, 2 direct replies (showing 2)
View submission: Weekly Free Talk Friday Thread!
Now that the holidays are done and far gone, I’m feeling much better. The second half of last year I was going through the process of buying a house, getting settled in and all the fun that comes with that. I’m sure that was a big part of feeling burnt out, but this year at holidays with family, I didn't feel great and it showed. I've suspected it's seasonal depression as there's a wide family history of it. It gets a little worse every year.
It's been a year since my last relationship ended, and I’m ready to get back to dating. However, I feel like I've regressed on the progress that I've made with help from therapy, like I’m not even committed to progress anymore, as if achieving the goal of having a place to call my own has shut down the drive to achieve my other goals.
And a part of me wants to go back to my last person. Things didn't end poorly, we're still friends. I feel now that I had stupid reasons for ending things, but I’m sure if we started up I would remember my reasons and realize it wasn't so stupid.
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Am I a man? I feel like one. But I don't always want to be. When I was young and upset that I didn't fit in with other boys very well, my mother said I was 'in touch with my feminine side,' can't say I disagree. But I think that feminine side wants to emerge a bit more, and I don't know what that means or what that looks like.
My therapist has spent years driving home the idea of 'gray areas' to get me to shed my black-and-white thinking. One's gender doesn't have to be binary like that, but am I even ready to apply that to my own gender?
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I hope everyone finds something fun to do, something comfortable to wear, or something to feel excited about for the coming week.
Comment by StrangeBid7233 at 19/01/2025 at 09:26 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Therapy for me has been kinda here and there, sometimes I feel like I'm progressing, other times I don't, which I presume is normal. And on goal thing I can fully relate, I get so focused on ONE goal that everything else doesn't matter, and when I achieve it I don't feel happy, I feel shitty that I don't feel happy and I find something else to hyperfocus on.
Wanting to go back to an ex is common issue, as my therapist puts it we tend to idolize too much, it's hard to remember bad shit sometimes. I also have good friends that told me they would beat me up if I ever say "I'd get back with her", shoutout to my friends taking care of me.
On man thingie, I was same, always stud out, I used to be embarrassed about my feminine side, but my last relationship she actually liked that part of me a lot, like girl was legit happy as a mouse that she could talk about makeup with her boyfriend and how much I was interested in all of that, and it connected to me how much better it felt that I could be open about it. I also realized, since I became more open about it, how much easier it's for me to make female friends,
I realize it's hard to get out of black and white thinking as I'm guilty of it as much as you, and my therapist has also been trying to help me get out of it, it does sometimes still make me very insecure that I don't feel super manly, and it was always fear in past relationships that I wasn't seen as "sexy" and "hot" due to it.
Best of luck to you with everything dude!
Comment by Tetizeraz at 17/01/2025 at 21:48 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
So, my own girlfriend calls me a bit feminine, but she likes it. I'm not entirely sure if I take that as a compliment, but I do get her. However, I feel more masculine in a way when I'm so sure I am saying and doing stuff they way I want, y'know? Like expressing myself regardless if I'm going to be taken as a man or make someone think "Is he gay?"