Comment by ImNormMacdonald on 13/05/2014 at 01:22 UTC

1298 upvotes, 17 direct replies (showing 17)

View submission: I am Norm Macdonald, AMA.

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This is an interesting number of questions, Victoria. Who was it that said: If nominated, I will not run, if Elected, I will not serve? Whoever it was, they were an idiot. If nominated, I will run, and if elected, I will serve.

But as we know, television is not a democracy but an oligarchy. They don't hire a lot of guys who run around saying oligarchy. Many times a boss will call me and say "I'll have to let you go" and I'll say "Why" and they'll say "Well you sell more than everybody else at the plant, but you've been saying Oligarchy in the break room too much at lunch. In fact the suggestion box is filled with pieces of paper that complain about that." And I'll say "well sir, Oligarchy, holy fuck" and then I know it's time to pack up my duffle bag and hit the lonely road.

I like chicken and crepes.

Replies

Comment by NigelMK at 13/05/2014 at 03:06 UTC

158 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Reading these responses in your voice is bringing me to tears. (In a good way)

Comment by CelestialFury at 13/05/2014 at 02:58 UTC

68 upvotes, 2 direct replies

At the end of your second paragraph I forgot the question entirely.

Comment by hlabarka at 13/05/2014 at 02:20 UTC

19 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Lets write a book together: 1000 Things You Shouldnt Say At Work.

232 "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

419 "Religion is the opiate of the masses."

549 "The passion for destruction is a creative passion."

1000 "Oligarchy"

Comment by [deleted] at 13/05/2014 at 02:40 UTC

14 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I went through this exact scenario at my job. Crazy how many people are out there sharing similar roadblocks to success.

Comment by [deleted] at 13/05/2014 at 03:17 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

[deleted]

Comment by obvnotlupus at 13/05/2014 at 02:08 UTC

292 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I understand.

Comment by [deleted] at 13/05/2014 at 04:10 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

you've been saying Oligarchy in the break room too much at lunch. In fact the suggestion box is filled with pieces of paper that complain about that

reminds me of this Kids in the Hall sketch[1].

1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrJYpActs7g

Comment by [deleted] at 13/05/2014 at 05:14 UTC

6 upvotes, 0 direct replies

God bless you, Norm Macdonald.

Comment by trey_at_fehuit at 13/05/2014 at 03:45 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

This is like living poetry.

Comment by jack_hotel at 13/05/2014 at 02:43 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

William Tecumseh Sherman

Comment by sexquipoop69 at 13/05/2014 at 07:42 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

this answer, in it's totality, is the best thing I have read in awhile. Norm Macdonald come back to TV. We miss you.

Comment by SgtVeritas at 13/05/2014 at 05:25 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

usually you make me laugh... but this made me very sad. Thanks for changing it up, Norm.

Comment by RobeFlax at 13/05/2014 at 12:46 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I got fired from the Walmart Home Office for reading Machiavelli.

Not too interesting a story nor is it true.

Comment by LadyGorilla at 13/05/2014 at 02:35 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Norm you are just the best

Comment by panirobi at 13/05/2014 at 05:05 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

same. chicken and crepes are delicious.

Comment by JamesTheJerk at 13/05/2014 at 05:16 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Tell me more about the crepes...

Comment by H0neyBadger at 13/05/2014 at 13:39 UTC

0 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Chicken and crepes?! Would the chicken have to be French then? And how would one know the served chicken is indeed French, would it come with a little white flag sticking out of it?