0 upvotes, 4 direct replies (showing 4)
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A lesbian saying she isn't attracted to trans women is transphobic though. If she has a genital preference, that's totally fine and not transphobic.
But that's not what people mean by that first statement, they're implying that all trans women look the same (they don't), that they all have penises (gender affirmation surgery is incredibly advanced nowadays) and that they're not real women (they are).
Comment by redditatwork1986 at 13/03/2021 at 00:17 UTC*
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
A lesbian saying she isn't attracted to trans women is transphobic though.
This is the only statement that confuses me. I guess I'm still not clear on where the line between preference and phobia sits.
If someone says a trans woman isnt a real woman, sure, transphobic. Same with trans men and men. I'm 100% on-board with this.
This to me sounds like preference though. Unless this statement is made with the modifier similar to something about trans women being real women, then I think we might just disagree here. I know that argument happens, and I don't agree with it, but I doubt it's used every single time someone says they're not attracted to trans men or women.
I understand that there's a lot I don't know, but this sounds similar to something like an ultimatum of: "if you wouldn't date/sleep/be with me because I'm trans then you're transphobic". I don't think that's the intended message, which is why I'm trying to understand this particular aspect. Maybe it is though? Maybe that is what's transphobic now and it just seems....different than what I previously envisioned?
Probably a dumb/insensitive question but there's no malice behind it: Does genital preference not apply to previously existing genitals?
edit: I read your other response as well, thanks. I think my perception of phobia only currently encompasses what I consider "harmful". Either violence, discrimination at work, medical struggles, etc. I never lumped "people choosing not to sleep with/be with someone" in as harmful. I understand that can be considered a form of discrimination, but I also feel like nobody is entitled to another person's attraction and that makes it difficult to wrap my head around this particular concept.
Comment by Puggo357 at 13/03/2021 at 01:16 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
What I think is the issue is people saying they're attracted to the opposite gender. Now with how gender has become fluid with many people switching and changing, the phrase "I'm attracted to the opposite gender" doesn't work anymore. When people say that, they generally are going to mean the opposite sex, i.e. opposite genitalia.
While gender affirmation surgery is a thing, I wouldn't accept it. That's more of a thing with me not liking things like plastic surgery, I don't know if I'm a majority of a minority in terms of that.
While they're real women, again, I prefer the opposite sex. You can change your gender and your body all you want, but you can't change the genes that define your sex. I have no problem with trans people, most of the time I think they're great people to know. But when it comes down to sexual and romantic behavior, I just don't feel attracted to them.
Comment by TurboTemple at 13/03/2021 at 00:38 UTC
-1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
It’s insane to me that you’re trying to force people to be attracted to characteristics that they simply don’t have a preference for. It’s absolutely not transphobic to prefer biological women, and to even imply that is abhorrent.
Comment by courageoustale at 13/03/2021 at 01:45 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
No, it isn't