11 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Is Buddhism skeptical of romantic relationships?
I believe it is skeptical. In general, we seek romantic relationships out of a desire for fulfillment. That necessarily means we are thinking something outside of us (ie another person) is going to fulfill our sense of lack.
However, it doesn’t work that way. Eventually the new relationship energy wears off, and we are not fulfilled. The dynamic of transference from our unconscious childhood experiences starts taking over. We stop seeing eye to eye with our partner and misunderstandings occur. Someone becomes more overtly controlling and the other more passive (covertly controlling). Things may fall apart here if we have expectations because they are not being fulfilled.
Now, one can be in a relationship and following dharma. One would, in this scenario, not have expectations of their spouse so there would be no disappointment. If this sounds like a tall order, it probably is for most people. I am talking about unconditional love, and stopping the search for fulfillment.
Comment by Likemilkbutforhumans at 04/02/2025 at 03:18 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I really like this perspective